Found TRUE LOVE

How can I break this down.... I grew up knowing nothing. In a town-that if anyone knew anything about Jesus-they sure were quiet. Only time I ever heard a thing about this "Guy" (aside from His name in vane in my family) was that show Jesus of Nazareth. I was about seven...and clueless...but it sure drew tears. Kept living life...I was an epileptic my whole life. As a child I was a gymnast-a competitor...and in my heart...I would talk to "someone" just didn't know who. Had dreams-talking to "someone" about them...not sure who... My parents marriage got so rocky as they lived for money and their names to be high up in the town we lived in..President of this and that...that of coarse led to women wanting my dad for material reasons...and he folded. And with my dad cheating on my mom started a whole new relationship between her and I...I was basically her counselor. She and I were always close. But she needed someone to confide in...and she did it with me, the daughter of both the parents. Which I didn''t think hurt then...but sure affected me later. When I was 18-we had made our 4th move in last two yrs of my high school yrs. I was in New Bern, NC. I was insane there...was not the place for me. Some southern drawl I didn't understand...then people lectured me on this weird church stuff...not where I come from!! We don't have to do this church stuff-I'd tell em.....while I was there, I met my 1st husband-lengthier marriage by God-not by choice. We just jumped into marriage knowing each other 3mos. He was a marine. We wound up moving to California (probably half the reason I married him) But we had fuzzy feelings. Then when we got there in Cali-this is all 1996-he decided to press this Jesus stuff He had never spoken to me about-ever. At first I rejected it hard!!! Almost left him even...but then something tugged me. Half the reason was-everyone at my work, when I'd go to them asking them to back me up for me to leave him, couldn't-they were total Jesus Freaks! :) So on the side, I was learning from a friend a little...and started to go to my husbands church...but it wasn't but about a month into my attempt in my walking to learn more-that he cheated on me. After what I lived thru with my parents as a child...I had no forgiveness...nor did I have Jesus in my life yet-so didn't have it thru Him either...I was out of there...began 1 of my several move outs and to another state from him. We filed 3 times, 4th was our final in 2006. But God still has reasons for everything-during our breakups he showed me that I wasn't to be with other people-literally BIG signs of rolling my car three times, only breaking my marriage finger. Flat tires the night one was going to propose. Countless number of relationships-- searching to fill that void--somewhere around 15 in like an off an on 2 years. God sadly blesses me with an amazing memory-perhaps to know never to do all that again--turn TO HIM, now that I KNOW!! But He always is there...even when we aren't looking for Him. My husband then, and I tried one last time-after another big break up-to patch it up. He had feelings that I owed him-even though we both were so equal in hurting the other...finally got to a point his temper was just too much-and we discussed it-he said he couldn't handle being with me anymore and was seeing someone else...I was all okay...at least he told me...almost before. So we decided to go out-eat dinner-drink a bottle of wine (which was the first time I ever did with him) and talk about who gets what. We were laughing about it all in the end-back at our apartment...which lead to the married couple's last time....except even that night something felt and showed me-it was going to be more than that last night... Within 5 days I found out that was the night that got me pregnant. He was so angry-wanted to abort it. I-not into Jesus-still felt it was a gift from God. We somehow stuck it out. But my seizures got worse...and it thru his schooling off. He didn't have time to take care of me...and when I had our baby Tory-he couldn't take care of us both...so Tory and I went back to AZ where my family was-to find a good neurologist. There I was set to go thru my first brain surgery, and my husband had joined the Army so we could have the insurance for it. I made it thru that-no seizures!!! We had to move to TX, where he was stationed. 4 days after...he beat me with our baby asleep. Thank God for the Army...they kicked him out...took pics and records..I thought I was loosing my mind though...I was so lonely. I had nobody there. My family would not believe me-they can't deal with stress...so I had to pretend he lived there and we were happy and I wasn't abused. When with my neurologist I had to tell him what was going on to watch my seizures...and also this new problem that came in...overdosing with Phenobarbital-antiseizure med-to numb pain. I was so alone-listened to sad sad music, bawling with whatever amount of the pills and soda. Tears were uncountable. Finally...visiting a friend in Austin..we hit the ER 2 times...then they suggested I stay with them that night...but I said I felt soo much better-when I could in reality, barely say those words. I got into my car...blared my sad Matchbox twenty song "Hand me Down" stopped at a Jack in the Box for a BIG Dr. Pepper...then aggressively took off...on repeat..on the 35...bawling-saw the rest of the bottle of my pills...while crying about how hopeless life is..picked it up and slid every last one that wasn't in me already, in me...downing with that Dr. Pepper...dropping 7...that upset me...took little time to realize...that if I didn't see an ER or H sign asap I wouldn't be around...somehow God provided that...somehow...and ripped my car over all these curbs into it. Going thru my first stomach pump. My parents were called by the family friend that I had seen and jumped on the first flight to come get Tory and I...there was God's hands at work there.... They were upset..but so loving. It was from that point on it was battle time. I didn't have them as the mom and dad I could talk about the beating with...upset them too much. Couldn't talk about my new addiction when I'd get upset and stressed over this divorce-he left Tory and I with nothing. I couldn't hold a job with my addiction issues...I found my church one day-when I was blasted...God called to me with that purple sign that said Cornerstone. I knew that was the only way I'd find hope. I started going...every Sunday...but I swear he always spoke directly at me...convicted me of so much! God answered so many little and big prayers in that tiny walk...beginning of learning...but I was still in a battle...wound up overdosing in June of 2003-more battle on line with my ex who was in Iraq-(gift from God to separate us that far-even though that was tough) The docs tried to change my medication-I really wanted Phenobarb out of my life-took about 12 days..at home reading to my 2 yr old on my lap on the floor...HUGE grand mal seizure...threw up everywhere...was out for 3 hrs-bonked my head on the tile. When I woke my baby was still standing there-2 1/2 hrs past her bed time-bawling her eyes out-pointing at me-saying mama mama ...ugh!! talk about tears...I barely could talk... It took several more times after being put back on it...and one final time-in October of 2003-that I almost lost my life to...that Jesus saved me from death...heard tiny prayers...saw the little walk I was trying to walk...He needed to have me have more than a wake up call... HE SAVED ME FROM DEATH, on a major overdose. As I whispered His name, before I hit coma and they were pumping my stomach-HE SAVED ME BIG--more than 2nd chances. I lived to tell. And I am blessed. Just following is when the love of my life-Christian-was shocked and amazed...over that yr...I as this new Christian on fire for Jesus...got him who grew up with Christ...ON FIRE!! And we dated the way God wanted us to! As my divorce was still going thru...God had that take time...and I look and see why now...it took about 4 yrs for me to really forgive my ex for beating me. It hurt me so bad emotionally...caused so much anguish-with seizures and overdosing...but with that overdosing...I have to look back and thank Jesus for it all...for I found Him...and it led me to going thru a second brain surgery-that was amazing!!! Following Him...in prayer-the second one was almost painless...which was a SHOCK-cause it was so much more complicated than the first!! The day after I got out...I was at Bible study!! AMEN!!!! I didn't get out of the house the first one for about a month! With this walk came forgiveness...and when I felt God tug on me to do that....and I did forgive my ex for all he did to me-while also apologizing for what I also put him thru...God made me feel so awesome inside...like He gives you a new heart. And mine on fire for Him! Did it have aching times, yes. seizing a month after my second brain surgery hurt...but He has reasons for everything. I have been on a health struggle since 2000...and worsened since 2005. If I went down my list-you'd wonder how I still type! hahaha!! But the cool thing is...is that-no matter how many times I go to the hospital, and for what...He is there, holding me the whole time... I have numerous health issues if anyone ever wants to talk-I am open! We are so blessed. Even thru battles of trials, came blessings! My ex has surrendered rights to Tory-our kid, and given my husband ability thru that to adopt. He has raised her as her dad since she was two. And now, finally scheduled for my 3rd brain surgery to cure my Epilepsy...God has amazing reasons for everything...even when it is a battle with health. It somehow is a light-not only in my life, but in others too. I am able to share His awesome love and Word thru these struggles and how awesome He works thru them! Never would regret a moment of it... Blessings to you... 
Hetty Siebens @AliveinMe 



Jeremiah 17:15 Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise.
2 Corinthians 12: 8-9 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. 
1 Peter 5: 6-7 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in His good time He will honor you. Give ALL your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you!

Come follow-read testimonies-share yours!

http://trialstotriumphs.blogspot.com/

God's amazing creations-HE REIGNS!

Thinking. Isn't it just an amazing gift from God? How to think- the brain... that is such an amazing construction made- God didn't go thru a drive thru quickly on that one. He truly delicately thought out how every part would control-our whole body. How it would control our moods, taste, vision, movement--mind you from opposite sides of our brains. There are two amazing halves-one that is dominant, usually is the left side-and usually makes you a right handed person (some other cases) The dominant side controls most needed language to speak,ahhh and memory- some short term and long term--which all of these can be different slightly--as for my memory is out of this world, and I hardly have a left side temporal hippocampus. Where that likes to be stored. Understanding written and spoken language. Number skills, reasoning. Right side has emotions, planning, artistic side-as a whole with music and insight of it. Therefore can have recall of music. Sight is in the back. Ability to move arms are usually on beginning of frontal lobes (back of) or might touch Parietal lobe with some. Reading comprehension is in Parietal lobe just above the temporal lobe--why some epileptics have slight reading disabilities. Really I could go on-- Sensory speech is in the back-that is different that motor speech-- sensing it. Just is all flabbergasting. All connected by the Corpus Callosum -disconnect that- it is a corpus callosotomy. The human brain usually weighs 3 pounds.. mine, having gone thru two brain surgeries already.. probably weighs about 2.50. And more to come out.
That is my excitement. Personally exciting for me. My appointment to talk about my MEG-and how they want to go about my 3rd brain surgery is tomorrow Wednesday 13th, at 2:00. About 6 1/2 hours from now. I have been waiting on this for some time now. All along... God brought me in a much deeper relationship with Him. Not able to drive. Not able to do much... physically. But Last January, when I was so sick-I reached deeper for HIM. And thru that-and everyone I am able to share His Word with-- pray for-- help understand The Why's?? I have just melted into His arms thru all these circumstances. And instead of being bitter-I can see all the Glory He places in my life-- and for me to do. And with that- I reach to others. In such similar situations I've been in-- and I hold out my arms thru His Word, and pray with them, and for them... that is what keeps me going. Jesus. He never lets any of us down. Even when it may seem dark-- remember- He knew everything about you before you were born-- ready to be here in tough times. Just have to turn those eyes, whether you can see or not-- upon HIM!! For He is there... and He touches our lives left and right when we let Him.
As for my MEG test-- that was to help also map out that I can still talk and use my right hand and legs-where my seizures show. It is amazing how they can cut around all of that. The stuff that is critical. God has created miracles--all over.
You are all blessing He created. I thank Him all for you!! Will update you all on a path they are talking about. Tomorrow--- 2:00 is my appt at Mayo Clinic-- with my amazing neurologist, Dr. Drazkowski.
Blessings!
Heather @AliveinMe
Psalm 9:1 I will thank You, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things You have done. I will be filled with joy, because of You, I will sing praises to Your name, O Most High.



Please Keep Kate McRae #katemcrae -beautiful daughter of 
@aaronmcrae and @HollyMcRae who is fighting brain cancer-had
brain surgery for it-all chemo, radiation-tumor still there. 
http://www.prayforkate.com
http://www.cschandler.com/dlgMediaPlayer.aspx?id=637


As well as amazing, humble Pastor @mattchandler74 and his dear 
wife @laurenchandler --Matt also had frontal lobectomy for brain 
tumor-it came back cancerous. Praying it is healed, honestly, before 
the ending of his radiation/chemo.
http://www.themchandlers.blogspot.com/
http://northway.thevillagechurch.net/


And dear @bentelybrian -his little Anna Grace-- 
http://baasheepbaa.blogspot.com/2010/01/anna-grace-january-12-update-3.html


New friend with a child also going on multiple brain surgeries for 
Epilepsy at the age of almost 8 now.. @ElyssaCichy - her son Elijah
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/elijah414

How Great is OUR GOD-Jesus Christ

Who has control of your life, ultimately? Is it always ALL YOU? What happened to the song.... He's got the WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS???? Meaning everyone of us-- He carefully planned out, knowing every hair on us-- everything about us-- planned out our life-- before we were born? We love to try to alternate things-- but Jesus has the final say. The Great hand in all. He allows the devil to throw temptation our way, to see how far we will go until we understand He is who we need!! He is who loves us!! And He will never let anything-- ANYTHING go beyond what He already knows what we can handle--or He then for sure intervenes if we haven't woken up to knowing He is our everything to run to!!
How much does it take you? When you are sick-- really ill-- with an illness that has you disabled, are you angry- or can you see the good still from it? Reasons you are able to use it for His Glory? When you are well, yet things aren't going the way YOU want them to-- are you angry at Him, or silent with Jesus... or do you see how He can be working something amazing, yet to come-- as you cling to Him. Are you withdrawn from everyone- because you have an addiction, and know they will hate you if you share that news-- asking for help... and stick to yourself, and your addiction instead. Feeling no one could love you.... Do you keep past past issues-- from childhood bottled up? Ones that perhaps Jesus was able to help use to bring you to Him-- but now you won't share them... and it hurts you inside-- instead of what He planned-- for you to share them during your healing, while helping others come to Him... which would help them in time heal from such chaos....
We all have such stuff in our lives. We all have had grief. He never plans that-- we have free will... and Satan loves to enter to pull us from Him. We have to stay strong--- live in His Word!!! Hold on TO HIM tight!! The Holy Spirit which is very alive thru Him will wrap around you-- and keep you from falling-- help you thru grieving times. Guide you on His plans laid out for you-- but you have to open your heart, mind, soul to HIM. And open your Bible. Knowing THAT is what you need--with a clear conscience and loving heart-- for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ--- He is the one who already knows our lives-- as our Pastor has said-- we may like to keep Him in the trunk of our cars-- til something small arises-- then we hear this knocking---we pop the trunk--- ugh, ok, Jesus, you can sit in the backseat... as we drive along to our music--a/c on us.... then something bigger happens-- need Him a bit more--- Jesus-- you can have the passenger.... as we keep going our way---but then BOOM!!! When we really need Him-- when we really wake up to WHO IS IN CONTROL OF OUR LIFE---- we kindly turn off the car-- hand HIM the keys--exchange seats-- and tell Him-- His car, His A/C --- his CD choice-- HIS CONTROL!!! Our lives our planned out BY HIM.... we trust HIM.... I don't need anyone else-- BUT HIM-- no legal papers-- as for I TRUST HIM!! He is the Alpha, the Omega-- Beginning and End--- and to Him, I trust Him alone!! And give Him all Glory, Honor and Praise!
AMEN!!
Trust Him...
In His Love,
Heather


Hebrews 10:35-36  Do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord, no matter what happens. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that He has promised.
James 4:7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you.
1 Peter 4:19 So if you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself tot he God who made you, for He will never fail you.

The Why's God...

There is so much going on in everyone's life today. We all pretty much know the times are getting nearer... no one knows the date or time. But we can sure tell by drastic signs- that He will be back for His children- sooner than later.

Do we know that date? No. So do I sit back and just decide, hey, let's spend less on my third brain surgery... in case He comes hours after. He opened that door- along with the suffering for a reason. He actually opened that door twice- but my hubby slammed it shut the first time. My second brain surgery was enough for Him. But it opened quickly again. And I am one to take it. God has amazing reasons for everything. Perhaps it will bring someone to Christ during it all. Perhaps when I am well after- I will be able to finally get out more again and live for Him EVEN MORE-for others! We never know. I just go with it- with faith. As for He has worked wonders thru everything. Some we see now-- some we will see later and be astounded!

As for dear Kate Mcrae. That has really been weighing heavy on my heart. It has always been easy for me to take the tough stuff- probably because I am so grateful He brought me to Him, saved me-- even so clueless so late in life. But He loved me so much- as He does us all. And He does little Kate and her parents Aaron (pastor at my church) and Holly (amazing mom-on fire for Christ!) And with every update during the chemo- was hard- but I know suffering is hard for us all- and He won't give us more than we can handle. Then the news hit. After such amazing news of her blood counts finally rising overnight!! WOW!! We were so excited. Led to that crucial MRI-to see what all the rough chemo did. And that tumor is still there--that was an un-operable part-still there!! After all that tough stuff on such a precious little one. And everyone's hearts dropped... felt like they stopped. Here I am... selfishly excited for my third brain surgery- for something like epilepsy... and here is precious little Kate-- who had it-- as much as they could take out-- on top of radiation and chemo-- and that left over tumor is still there. What little -- just now six year old wants this? Sees the beauty in it all? In what she is really doing for so many?? She is one amazing spark-- always has been. And when one, who is ill, isn't full of that spark like before... it rips your heart out. This I know from my husband and daughter's point of view of me. We know all things will work all for His Glory-- but this is just so tough. And between her, and Matt Chandler- Pastor of an awesome church in Dallas @mattchandler74  --also had brain surgery-frontal lobe- for tumor. And it came back malignant-- now facing radiation and chemo thru February.... this makes me wish I could take these from these two. As for it is my 3rd brain surgery anyway... been thru it....

But I have to try to remind myself-- He has a reason for THEM too.... working thru THEM... just is so hard. When one like me, it is just epilepsy-- so I am so excited for my 3rd brain surgery. And these others are tumors-- finding out they were cancerous-- moving into more trials with it. Makes me feel selfish.

So I sit here-- praying big-- for both #katemcrae @aaronmcrae and @hollymcrae 's little girl, and @mattchandler74 -pastor in Dallas... praying their cancer WILL be healed by our AMAZING HEALER--- DEAR #JESUS!! Epilepsy, and all my surgeries have been a long road--- but I just have no room to complain. As for my tears go out to them.

Blessings to you all-- know I am here if you need prayer. He DOES work wonders- this I do know! And will with these two as well!!

In His Love,

Heather Siebens  @AliveinMe  @EpilepsyCures

Psalm 34:17-18 The LORD hears His people when they call to Him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 91:14-15 The LORD says, "I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on Me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue them and honor them."

What is HIS good time vs ours?

How- even as close followers of Christ- do we not let HIS AMAZING timing- get in the way with how we decide to handle things-our timing? How long does it take- for us- with something BIG in our life- to sit and pray- read His Word- talk to Him- meditate with Him- pray BIG with others etc.... how long? And how big-really-does it have to be to finally get you at a point of some sort of quitting term. Not necessarily quitting Jesus- but just not following tighter, another way you could... take care of it "yourself."

I bring this one up because as MOST of you out there know, they have wanted to do brain surgery #3 on me for 2 years. But back in 2008, when I was having non-stop tonic clonic seizures, once they fixed that, my husband just couldn't go thru ANOTHER brain surgery. Even though it looked like Jesus opened the DOOR BIG for us. Head of neurology for all three Mayo Hospitals was there, once again, when I was in--and was ready to tackle it. But I respect my husband dearly--and we went home. Clearly, there is always a reason for everything.... we still are searching for that one!!  :)  But, many amazing things happened in between in our lives- perhaps would not have, had I gone thru with it then. HE knows.

This time around, I wound up in the hospital a year ago-- hardly able to move any limb. My white blood count dropped drastically. And was very anemic. Comes with the cards with the one and only anti-seizure medication that works for me. Then it finally eats at me BIG. That was when my neurosurgeon came in-- we had to talk about another plan- there are only two meds that work--and now I can't take either.

I finally went thru major testing they needed in November- my MEG-- shows them what I have left to take out (after two surgeries) and what areas they are concerned about- what do they control. I had that blissful test in November- before Thanksgiving in Birmingham-- and came back with H1N1 for a month.... then all the holidays continued. So hearing back still hadn't happened. Mind you... it took from February to November to get that MEG test. 3rd surgery patients aren't fun cases. Too much to look at- study- semi worry about what they may take out. But honestly, with all the seizures, and increase and add ons of medications thru 2009-- now up to eight medications... I was pretty darn patient. All glory TO JESUS!!!

But after that MEG-- then Christmas, New Years... today came. I have just been so sick. Not depressed. My meds make me sleep now -- need sleep for at least 14 hours... and that still isn't enough. So at my final wits end, I text my neurologist. It was 1:00 pm- just got up... couple hours go by-- couldn't handle it. I said "I say let's put less stress on Mayo and settle with Phenobarbital (my addictive-but one drug that works well) Less time on an unrewarding case. These meds have me in misery. ~Hetty Siebens

I heard from his secretary RIGHT after that message. My neurologist helped Jesus pull me out of the mudd-- back in 2003-- addicted to that medication after my ex beat me. And when we re-tried it 2 more times-- one time I was in control... other time my husband. Neither worked. Shows the amazing care Jesus placed me in-- as for His amazing care for me. That made me feel very selfish. 

As for:

1 Peter 4:19 So if you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for He will never fail you.

Well, I kept doing that and doing that... and had a blow up.... and not that I don't trust HIM... I just took it into my OWN hands. He still made amazing things happen!!! As for I re-text with apologies!! 

1 Peter 5:6-7  So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in His good time He will honor you. GIVE ALL YOUR WORRIES AND CARES to GOD, for HE CARES about what happens to you!

1 Peter 5:8-9  Be careful! Watch out for attacks from the Devil, your great enemy. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour. Take a FIRM stand against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going thru the same kind of suffering you are.

Even though I am weak... it shows His amazing hand in use!! Shows what I can live thru- only thru HIM!! And I give Him all the glory!

2 Corinthians 4:10 Thru suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.

He is the Way, the Truth, the Life...  He is why we are here-- has amazing plans-- we just have to try to kick back... even if it is a year-- to keep praying TO HIM! Either way-- He never lets us down! His love is so amazing, merciful, full of grace and endless comfort- we have to keep hanging onto that. His love never wavers! And that is amazing!!

Love you all!! I am thrilled that progress is moving forward-- have my neurologist appointment next Wednesday-- after all Mayo's from here in AZ, MN, and FL have their neurosurgeon conference about best way to enter my head- awake brain surgery, stimulation again, etc. I've been opened a total of four times- surgery twice- so plastic surgeon is already on hand to re-pad. I am thrilled and so grateful to Jesus for moving this. He is ONE AMAZING GOD! HIS GOOD TIME--- IS THE RIGHT TIME-- THE ONLY TIME!!!! 

In His Love,

Hetty @AliveinMe  @EpilepsyCures 

Psalm 103: 2-4  Praise the LORD, I tell myself, and never forget the good things He does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He ransoms me from my death and surrounds me with love and tender mercies.

Sidelines... or Jesus?

Do we kick back at the sidelines.... having popcorn and soda?  Do we kick back in our life's "sidelines" feeding off what we wish to hear? Or do we head out to the field-to someone's home- to a hospital- to the church- to SKYPE, twitter, facebook or other amazing communication sites- to reach out. Do we meet one at church, or their home, or have them over?? These are just a few amazing ways to get into the action Christ wants you in. Whether you are hiker, quarterback, wide-receiver, etc-- He has a place for you to reach out-to help others. To share His Word. To share your testimony thru how amazing He works thru your life- and as Elton John says "I'm still standing..." but it is thru Christ--and relying on His love and plan for you--trusting Him, reaching to other fellow brothers and sisters in Christ- to lift you up. And He will get you thru today. When He decides tomorrow will come-- tomorrow will be even more amazing-- as you grip Him and His Word-and fellow followers, who have been there- and know a lot of what you feel- yet also know His amazing love, mercy and grace- that will pull you up- and set forth His plans, as you keep trusting Jesus. Walking tightly. The sidelines are great- to watch other lives being lived-- that perhaps one day you may want to try to attempt. Don't let time fly by. Get in NOW!! He wants you full force!!! Helmets on for Christ!! Prepared to build your life for Him-- thru Him-- all about Him!! Not sit back and watch it go by till next season. NOW IS THE TIME! Pick up your Bible-- read it!! Soak it up-- pray before you open it. If little me, less brain, ever understood it-- YOU CAN!! And if you ever need help-- I am here-- and if I can't-- I know amazing tweets that are brilliant!! But get into His Word-- fighting the good fight--- ALL FOR HIS GLORY!!! We don't let the devil take ahold of us-- we put on armor!! We battle with amazing words-- His Word!! FAITH, SALVATION, SPIRIT!!! It is all about Him... football may truly be fun-- but if given this choice--sidelines of #Jesus or in the game- offensive for our Savior-- which would you chose? I'd chose any battle on the grass for #Jesus.... AMEN!!
Blessings to you all--pray you have been enjoying the football season--remember who we are really here for--to spread the Word about-- get in the game and shout His name--HE IS THE KING OF GLORY!! #Jesus !!


In His Dear Love,


Heather


Ephesians 6:16-17  In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

From Milk-to Solids

Hebrews 5:12-14 You have been Christians for a long time now, and you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things a beginner must learn about the Scriptures. You are like babies who drink only milk and cannot eat solid food. And a person who is living on milk isn't very far along in the Christian life and doesn't know much about doing what it right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who have trained themselves to recognize the difference between right and wrong and then do what is right.


Had you read this to me seven years ago-I would have stared at you, perhaps even with an evil look with the word food in it. I very much dislike food. And Hebrews I had not rolled into in the beginning of my walk with Christ! I was still at the bottle-BIG TIME. And in the beginning of your walk- that is okay. I will say, with all I had on my plate- I jumped BIG into His Word, than a lot of invites to churches do--as for it was life and death.
I was at the bookstore the other day, picking up a couple Christian based books... as I was searching, I began to over-hear this LOUD discussion between two ladies about what books they just don't want, and why. They just don't "feel the same fire as their family" and so on.... and on... (you know women--- help!!!) It just continued. Toward a crack of silence- I had to break into the conversation- let them know which was one of my favorite first books to read-- and where I read it-literally saved by Jesus' love and grace-from death. I was already a believer- but Greg Laurie's book Why Believe gives a simple low down when you are first beginning as well-- and I read it while in the hospital- just barely saved from death- about a quarter mile down the street at Mayo Hospital. Where life for me did a total turn-around... and not for me-- FOR HIM. It was a quaint, brief talk we had-- but it was enough, at the book store to perhaps get those ladies to start on the milk-- maybe one day soon- surpass me and be on stages speaking His Word-- who knows!?? He does!! But every tiny bit we say to others-- isn't tiny when it is all ABOUT HIM-- it is BIG! And can inflict someone's life for the good--FOREVER!! That is one simple example. And many more will keep coming-as your love keeps flowing-and you keep learning more-each day. 
When I first began to follow Christ, it wasn't me with the loud mouth-- all for His Glory! It was my precious young two year old then. She would face to face with any nationality, race, gender, size -- let them know-- "did you know, Jesus died on the Cross for you?" My heart just melted- and I knew there was more to come-- for me-- ME to share His Word!! I had always had a LOUD mouth-- but I wanted to use it for what He gave it to me for--- HIM!! And that is what I do today.
Never fear what one will say back, or about you when you leave. It is the seed. And that seed planted may take moments, days, weeks- OR YEARS as it did with me-- but you help plant it!! And Jesus smiles SO BIG-Hugs you tight!! Saying "thank you, my son/daughter-I am so proud!"
I love you all so dearly!! Go out and share His amazing Word!! It is such a blessing to feel!!


In His Precious Love,


Heather


1 Timothy 4:8  Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.


1 Timothy 4:16  Keep a close watch on yourself and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right, and God will save you and those who hear you.

New Year-Same AMAZING GOD!

This may be an awesome New Year's Day-- an awesome New Year to come-- but it is thru our same Awesome God- Jesus Christ. He knows already what is to come-- and amazing plans in our lives-- thru any down points-- remember to hold tight to Him- as for He is the one that always has the "Best that is yet to come!!"
So we can watch balls drop, or fireworks, or sparklers-- but He is the amazing LIGHT that shines bright ALL THE TIME- throughout every NEW YEAR. So keeping your eye on the real Light-- Firework-- that has awesome love, mercy, grace, and plans for each moment, day, week, month, year you have to come-- will give your year-- every "New Year" an amazing spark-- no-BLAST OF LIGHT-- showing you reasons He has you here for. Plans He has thru every moment of time in your life thru Him-- we just have to focus on Him, not ourselves, or selfish material things. Material things can be fun, and there isn't any wrong in liking them, but know that isn't our reason for being here. We all have an amazing purpose thru Him-and He more than guides you, when you allow Him to. Just have to call on Him-- with all your heart-- He very much answers! And you will see what His plans are. How He works in just amazing ways thru faith in Him. He is a New Year, a Christmas Gift-- everything good, every day! He does all good for you-- keep seeking that. And when trouble does hit-- hang on to HIM-- He has more amazing good to come-- when you trust and love Him. That makes every "New Year" a more amazing year-- each year--- TRUST AND LOVE FOR JESUS!
I wish you all a very Happy New Year... as you Trust, obey, love Jesus throughout all of 2010-- and all to come!!! As I will trust HIM BIG-- as they saw open my head again, 3rd time, and cut out more brain this year. He has always been amazing thru it ALL!!! And we will praise Him- as we do already- when my husband's adoption for Tory goes thru. AMEN!!
We love you dearly!


Happy New Jesus Focus Year-- for me, my family, you all of us!!


In HIS LOVE,
Heather  @AliveinMe

Psalm 115:1 Not to us, O LORD, but to YOU goes all the glory for Your unfailing love and faithfulness.

Our Hope

Where do you go when you are at your ropes end?
When you are about to go into surgery?
When you've been told you have cancer-may not be operable?
When you suffer from illness day in and day out?
When your money is more than tight?
When your job is on the line?
When you don't have a job-and doesn't look like one is coming soon?
When your marriage is falling apart?
When you lose a dear loved one?
When your children are out of control?
When you've been physically or mentally abused?
Where do you go?

Well-- when I didn't know Jesus-I first turned to the only thing I learned that numbed pain-- my prescription Phenobarbital. Only reason I knew that--was when I was pregnant-- the neurologist in Alabama kept upping my dose-- over toxic level to stop seizures. Major withdrawals. So-- after my first brain surgery, in 2002, 2 months after-my now ex beat me--and I turned to that. Then after long time of trying to understand why-- I found this church-- with a purple sign (my color) and I decided that it had to be the only other way to figure out how to get out of this mess. Mess of a broken marriage, with a beautiful baby... no support... epileptic.. raising on my own... now with addictive issues for my first time ever.
That purple sign led me to finding Jesus (thank you Jesus!!)--yes, while still struggling with overdosing, money issues, emotional issues, broken marriage, having out of control seizures, losing every job I tried to take-- due to being overdosed and confused. But I thank God all of this harsh stuff happened--as for I found Jesus thru it all-- so I know where to go.
As for my medical issues didn't stop there--- they just continued-- and my daughter also diagnosed with epilepsy, crushed me. But then I saw how amazingly He used it with me--and I gave it all back to Jesus. Everything is in His time, His plan, His Will... we just have to hold on tight-knowing how much He loves us thru it all-and watch all the amazing plans HE DOES HAVE-UNFOLD. That I can say so easily---as for He has overly blessed me.
Perhaps I could simply turn and go to a private neurologist--tell them what I say I take-- go from there... go back to Phenobarbital. The medication that is amazing with no drastic side effects, and complete control of my seizures. But then I have to deal again with the consequences of will I live or die-- higher risk even... due to overdose on a bad day than 3rd brain surgery. It just became one addictive drug for me. We tried two times after... both failed. I don't want to risk another.
We all have these trials-- these mountains-- these moments of time-- where God reaches out His hand-- and He is right there for us.... waiting for us to reach back in trust. No matter what we are going thru. Nothing is ever too much for Him to handle. Too much for Him to comfort. Too much for Him to guide you thru. He is our GOD! Who is strong and mighty--- Jesus died for us--- I think we can give the trust He is more than willing to HELP US TOO!!! Or that was a waste of His life!!
So never think twice about why Jesus is there-- call upon Him!! He hears you!! I was calling big-- lost my dear friend @jasonmitchener the day after my birthday... and now a dear friend @MajorDodson just lost his precious wife Faye at the precious age of 60. We never know fully the reasons-- the plans-- until we all get to see each other in Heaven... but we do know... He has amazing reasons. And more amazing plans in store-- as we trust Him!! This I sure learned!! One amazing God!! AMEN!!
God bless you all!!! Pray you all are well--- please let me know if I can pray for you.... seems the end of this year has been tough for many. But glorious when we see His picture!!!

In His Love,

Hetty @AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures


Please visit http://www.twitter.com/worldprayr

Lamentations 3: 22-24
The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance;therefore, I will hope in Him!"

Thankful for LOVE

1 Corinthians 13:4-7  Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the Truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.


WOW!!! Love is amazing... it is amazing when we first feel it. It is amazing when we have it in tough times... it is awesome when we have it in great times. But man-- do we always recognize it? Respect it? The whole way we should...
I am first-- well since I am typing this to say, no. I do my best-- on most days to love as much as I can-- but then recognize how much more I really still can, no matter how I am feeling. I am very blessed today-- first off-- having found Jesus back in hard times in 2003-- so I could learn what TRUE LOVE really is. He blessed me thru that with an amazing husband to marry-- who is one that is so close to loving as close to being like Christ-- amazes me. Not for greedy reasons. Jesus blessed me with that in time-- to learn how to love thru Christ-- and learn how to love--- hand and hand. Therefore I could also be a better mom... learning more to love.. each day and every day-- hand and hand-- thru Christ. He brought this family together-- thru HIS LOVE. And that, I am so amazed at.
Before I found Him... before my husband today... before my daughter entered my life... I was part very loving-- but not as much from the heart-now that I look back. I was very unselfish... I was a big giver. But I also had this snappy selfish side. And when someone said something that was out of line-- I was quite the defender-- one who can sit in a debate for hours and days-- until the other collapses. And that I learned--- even though my family always looked at that as a "Jensen" gift-- was not a gift at all. Jesus wants us to be humble. Wants us to give-- even to those who mock us. Love our enemies. We can talk humbly to others who are falling off their walk-- but we aren't Christ to judge-- we are His children to share His Truth. And if they hear-- they get back on the saddle. If they don't--- He takes care of what we planted. But--- we aren't to judge-- we aren't to rip and tear--- we aren't to ASSUME--- we aren't to sit and argue. We are to LOVE-- and with Love share His LOVE. And even if that takes setting boundaries, so your love doesn't get inflicted with someone-- then set up boundaries. With someone who is living a very dark life-- but you love them dearly-- you can attempt several ways of help-- but you otherwise are not in control. Other than to LOVE, and set up boundaries... so you do not wind up hating.... or disliking. Just waiting for them to come back--- with love like you also have.
I am blessed. I have love on both sides of my family. I have an amazing daughter. I am blessed truly by Jesus to have this amazing husband--- who is a gift from HIM. All of you-- friends from Heaven.... Most of all, I have Christ in my life. And that is the most amazing LOVE ever--- UNCONDITIONAL. Thru His love-- I have learned to love all--- thru everything. Even my ex who beat me. Hate is not part of vocabulary-- may have strife-- but He shares His Love-- His Light-- and I soak that up--- when focused on our True Love-- Jesus Christ.
Here is this years amazing Love letter my husband wrote to me....
Heather~
At Christmas time I think of all the gifts...
That bring me great delight and sweet surprise,
But nothing in this world can bring such joy
As you do, when I look at you in your eyes.
When I contemplate what Christmas really means,
The caring and the giving-I must confess,
You've given me the things I want the most:
Your love, your touch, your kiss, your warm caress,
The Christmas tree we decorated reminds me,
That just the thought of you sets me aglow;
You light me up from deep within my heart,
Because I cherish and LOVE you so.
With you it's Christmas ALL THE TIME
I treasure every hour and every minute.
Your love is all I'll ever want because,
My life is so fulfilling with you in it.
Jesus gave us these three little words--I LOVE YOU
I really, truly do. These words should be used by us throughout the seasons...
Now and all year through
I thank Jesus He loved me enough to give me time on this earth with you
and I promise to be your loving gift just as you are mine too.
Merry Christmas 2009
(My Hubby Christian @flyingchristian )


When Jesus saved me and brought me to Him-- I will sit here and say-- that is when I really began to truly learn to love-- everyone-- unconditionally-- non-judgmental. I am far from perfect... but I am so grateful for all that brought me here. It makes Christmas true CHRISTmas... loving everyone who is there thru HIS LOVE!! Love you all so much...
In His Love,


Heather @AliveinMe

Christmas Past--CHRISTmas present

Christmas Past and CHRISTmas present. Why is one partially capitalized? What are the differences of your Christmas now-compared to your Christmas as a child? 
Sure, as adults we could say presents are fewer-and they sure aren't toys. Some can even say they don't do presents-focused on kids only. Others can say they are ALL ABOUT THE GIFTS ever MORE-- perhaps didn't get much as a kid. Then there is the decoration. Oh I LOVE TO DECORATE!!! WOAH!!!! However, it could be just the opposite of my mother. She was so not for it. I remember her having her scotch-laughing in her PJ's--to Christmas music we ever listened to-- rudolph and such.... and throwing on lights, garland, and bulbs-- and whatever ornaments we made as young kids in class-or her best friend made her. Just wasn't my mom's thing. Then there is me. I have a tradition to always purchase 3 ornaments that pertain to each of us, from Hallmark. And about 18 or so from Pier One that are sentimental-- and mean something. Each year tree just has to grow!! I love that part... but it still is not my favorite part.

He is the ironic part... I had zero clue what Christmas was about-- all my childhood. I just knew for the years of belief in Santa-- we needed to be tucked in bed. Which was simple on my medication. But I didn't fear Santa not leaving anything like my brother... he really feared the "Santa Watch" they had on TV when we were in Scottsdale, AZ... and it tells you when to get into bed--- when it said it was time-- he just freaked-- falling into tears-- fearing Santa would come out of the TV and see he was awake-- leaving him nothing. That wasn't me. I was very laid back. 

But then years went by-- my dad grew higher in wealth-- and we grew older as kids-- so it became just a selfish day. A day of getting. Getting for what? None of us had a clue what the day was even for. We were spoiled with amazing gifts-- yet not the TRUE GIFT....

I didn't, as you know hear about Jesus until I was 19-- which I didn't take to Him then-- took hard times-- and that is another gift I am grateful for. Because beginning at the age of 27 I began to truly celebrate Christmas in pure joy-- then-- with no money-- but completely rich with the Ultimate Gift-- Jesus Christ. Jesus, born-- in such a tragic set up. Not the platinum reward Marriott upgrade. Born- to a virgin mother-- chosen to bring the AMAZING MESSIAH into this world-- TO SAVE US-- no decor in that stable the Inn Keeper allowed them to go to... as for The Inn had No Rooms... he just didn't sound like today he would get a good comment card....

Now I worked at the Marriott's in California for years... we always found ways on sold out nights to squeeze emergencies in. Platinum or not-- had this been today at the desk if I still worked there-- I would have found a room. As for I squeezed in who is now a dear friend back in 1998 in Newport Beach, CA--on a very "sold out" night-- and he is who introduced me to my husband today, in 2002. 

As for what is Christmas to me... it is CHRISTmas. It isn't about the gifts we give or receive-- it isn't about the decor-- it isn't about food (for sure!!) it isn't about how many pictures taken-- it isn't about pleasing all-- it isn't about what relative says about you, or what one wears--- it is ALL ABOUT CHRIST. His birth-- WOW!! As for had that not happened--- I would be one doomed soul!! I am so grateful God sent His one and only Son--into this world-- in such an amazing way!! He is the TRUE GIFT--- ALL WE NEED. He tried to tell so many the Truth-- so many denied face to face. It takes Him dying on the Cross-- and rising-- for some to wake up... I am so grateful I WOKE UP...I pray for so many.... including all my family roots--- we see many tomorrow night-- pray He shines thru us!!

God bless you all!!!

Very Merry Christmas--- thru our AMAZING SAVIOR's Grace-

Heather  @AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures


John 3:16 
For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

My Dear friend Jason Mitchener's Funeral Today

You all will think I am some bottle of health knowledge for others--as I have suffered. That is so not the case. Jesus just must have known I couldn't have taken losing close friends or family I knew well--until I KNEW HIM. And even knowing Him... it is so hard when you first find out. When you find out in a drastic way-- knowing he had been suffering some more prior, but he always pulled thru. Then was back on the computer talking to all... and setting up his new amazing website (in addition to what he has!!)

I always wondered how I would handle it. The death of a very close and dear friend. And I thank Jesus He made sure I would cry-- as for I am always a fighter of it. But that sure helped cleanse my mourning-- to bring me up to today. His funeral. I know more tears will run-- but not like if I had held it all back. So-- today will be a day of joy for Him -- as he is with our Savior for His birthday-- Jesus Christ. And A day I still know tears will build-- as for I sure do miss him. But he is one amazing soul in so many ways-- strong when very ill... as for I swear he hung on for my birthday here-- made it!!! Passed late the next day--and now is up in Heaven for Jesus'!! He just always has a heart for everyone else FIRST!!

I shared his story at my epilepsy support group-- and called to let Terry Graham know too-- as for I know he hasn't been very active on twitter. So more heart and love are with him today!!! And I thank you all for your support and love!!! And Gorgon Renfrow-- you are one amazing supporter-- and I thank you for all those amazing words!!!! As for I know Jason is thrilled with your support!!

I love you all and thank all of you for your love for Jason!!! He more than loves you back BIG from the heights of Heaven-- with Jesus right there WITH HIM!! WOW!! Up there he is singing the songs he wrote!!! Never held back by his ventilator!!!! AMEN!!

Blessings and Love to you all!!

Heather Siebens

Psalm 103:20-22 Praise the LORD, you angels of His, you mighty creatures who carry out His plans, listening for each of His commands. Yes, praise the LORD, you armies of angels who serve Him and DO HIS WILL! Praise the LORD, everything He has created, everywhere in His Kingdom. As for me--I, too, will praise the LORD.

My Dear Friend Jason Mitchener is HOME!

It is so hard to sit here and type those words for the title- but now I am trying to deal with reality- that he and I would talk about each time I went up to see him. We would sit there for 8-10 hours and talk about everything in life-- and he had one amazing life.

He was so humble. So true. So caring. So loving. And when he saw anything he felt needed correction-- stood up for his belief thru Christ!! And that was how we first met in January this past year- when I first started twitter. He simply saw my tweet- and it said something to the matter- when I was suffering pretty bad with my illnesses- I typed-- it just will be amazing when Jesus comes to get me!!! And he came back with-- something like -- No-- I want to live as long as I can-- no matter how stricken I am-- it is all for His glory--to bring more to Home to Him. ---- That woke me up again... and we built an amazing friendship--- and I am one to quickly ask him which facility is he at.... and bout a week later I was there with McDonald's he ordered- as I asked what I could bring. Each time I went up- I always brought him outside meals-- so it was "close" to getting outside. For a while-- he gave up Diet Coke for God-- any soda-- and I would bring him tea always--and he used that fake sugar!!! It was so amazing-- from day one-- such a humble, kind amazing soul... just kindly asked if it would bother me if I fed Him??? Didn't Jesus wash the disciples feet??? Jesus Christ-- our Lord and Savior-- humbled way below the fact HE IS GOD-- to wash THEIR FEET.... We are talking this amazing soul-- who always walked in Jesus' path-- once he found him... just in the nick of time-of his major suffering to come.... OF COURSE I COULD FEED JASON... or anyone. He would me any day of the week if he could--- he already had done so much for me...

We both shared amazing family life stories.... we both have the part where you live and learn-- and the part you just always love so much. That is family. And it is always a blessing to live and learn-- no matter how we do it-- as long as we get the LEARN part in.

I would be up there for hours--- his art was amazing---his music he wrote--his stories by his father--- I now have his book, tape, and art-- in my home--always--that I purchased face to face!! Stored up there in these amazing stacked boxes- all over-in the bathroom-he always knew where to send me!!! I bought for myself-- and also for others. I always knew where everything was located in that packed 8x12 half room shared. We'd talk from around 5-2:30 am...

The last talk was a tough one-- was right before I had to head out for Alabama-- for my MEG test--for my brain surgery to come. And right before I was leaving he was just in tears about life... and I stayed longer---we talked about how we WILL make it better... when I get back from my MEG-- we will make signs-- and certain schedules-for the nurses-when not in any trauma. And the fact he could only sleep on his left side-which stared at his cupboard--we were going to put up a sign-- uplifting words thru Christ. I came back from the MEG test I had done in Alabama-- and came down bad with H1N1 for a month. So I couldn't visit....

I was going to go up a week ago-- but was told by a family member- he wished I would not-- but if my gut said something else thru Jesus-- to proceed... I didn't want to step on family toes. So I waited.... My birthday was the 15th... I swear God had given me this weird feeling all week up thru THAT NIGHT of my birthday to go up-- but I waited-- didn't want to leave my husband on my birthday. Then it led to me heading up there day and a half after---as I said-- missed early post by his brother on his FB site-- as for I was getting ready for my doctor appt for my vertigo issue. Then went shopping for his Christmas gift-- doctors-- hit the freeways..............................

And I miss him so much. He is so loved by so many. SO MANY!! And those who met him--supported him-- Mike-- if you somehow catch this--THANK YOU-- you were one amazing soul for him!!! And dear Paul-- YOU know he is with Jesus--WOW! Jamie Lynn--- you will always be loved... As well as Third Day-- Bebo Norman-- His precious family--- I thank God for your amazing son/brother/nephew/grandson etc--you all had a major role--and I thank you--- and everyone!! He just amazed me, touched my heart, moved me, inspired me, and still does!!!!

He had amazing plans that God saw thru-- all this year he has had this van needed work-- to start-- tires, oil--etc--- got it finally going with help of many on twitter!! And his mom was able to insure him on her car insurance-- and he'd just get one trained or take a respiratory therapist with him-- to drive him to churches so he could speak- giving his testimony that touches the heart of so many!! Let's others know God will see you thru-- use ALL FOR HIS GLORY!! And just as all this came together-- was when he got sick and Jesus saw he accomplished all he had planned....wow.

Jason-- as you know-- I have been bawling-- and that is weird for me-- as you also know--- so you are truly loved and amazing--full of grace and mercy like Jesus.... know my husband's heart goes out-- and my precious daughter was bawling when I finally got home--- she loved you so much!!! We all always will-- as you keep your fire going--ALIVE up there with Jesus!!! If you can-- when I bawl-- just touch my shoulder-- tell me it's all ok..... maybe it will calm....

Will be amazing to see you there!! Dancing!!! Love you always my dear friend... keep dancing til I am there too!! We all will dance together with Jesus and Third Day!

In my Arms tight thru Christ,

Heather

@AliveinMe

http://www.facebook.com/aliveinme

http://www.jasonmitchener.com

http://www.causes.com/ventaz

http://www.christianmemorials.com/tributes/jason-mitchener/

The Way He Works

Jesus works wonders-- is really how He works. He works in HIS timing. His Way. His Plan. For His Glory. We just have to re-understand that--and re-thank Him each time we go thru some sort of trial or hard time. He is not punishing us. He will never allow anything we can't handle--to enter our lives, even when we think it is past the limit-it is far from it. He has us in the palm of His hands.

Thru every step of illness I have gone thru--I can thank Him for having me turn to Him in time--before it all would hit. There are many parts of illness that have struck-- many times in the hospital that haven't been fun. The main one of course is my Epilepsy. And we are gearing up for my 3rd brain surgery. I am excited--and have faith He will heal me thru it. Each time He has worked wonders. He has a reason for everything. We just have to trust Him--the way He works is trust, love, obedience, faith. Whether we see Him or not---we trust Him. We all should hear from Him one way or another-- or we aren't quite praying or talking to Him right-- in His time-- He will always respond to you!! To me-- to us all. But we have to open up our hearts... we don't have to have amazing brains... it is the heart He is looking to grab. And if you open yours up... soften it... He will be able to WORK RIGHT THRU YOU!!

This I also know too well. I lived thru the hard heart life for many years. You all may know I am a blip-aholic. I love mostly my Christian music today-- as for it wakens my soul! But I also love to Blip the music of my past-- the days I was so confused and fighting against Him. Presented with all this "stuff" about Him at 19... then was hurt... emotionally, and biblical (even though then I could care less about the biblical part). It was adultery. And I wasn't going to live that out again--against me. So instead--- I would brake up with my now ex-- and go find another "to be." And if I counted how many relationships I went thru in a short span--you'd be like--- this is the same Hetty? But it was so before Jesus. Now I look back and just flabbergasts me! We are all sinners--fall short of His Glory--- but wow--when I did accept Him- it took me sometime to forgive myself. Granted-- this is the same person who beat me. So, that is where we both were wretched. But--that is where I look back at the music we'd listen to-- and see-- WOW this was where our marriage was going.

And today--knowing Jesus--following Him tight--thru every trial--illness--grief--issue....I know He has plans--love--and such love for me. And has given so much of it already!! Starting with Him dying on the cross for my sins!! WOW!!! Then blessing me with an amazing husband today---and beautiful child I can't even explain to you!!! And allowing my husband to adopt her---He just keeps on working thru us---and I am so grateful!! As for HE IS MY GOD---and He blesses ME!! WOW!!

I am one who wishes to give back--I always try--I hope the little I do do--is a beginning...and will amount to more and more as I get better thru surgery--- and following!!! ALL FOR HIM!!

Love you all-- and thank you for your friendship thru Him!! Sorry I have been MIA for a month--- H1N1 was NO FUN-- But HE SAW ME THRU-- and all with the help of your prayers!! God bless you all!!

In His Grip,

Heather Siebens

@AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures

Proverbs 16:20

Whoever gives thought to the Word will discover good, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.

Forgiveness, guilty we all are except Jesus, LOVE and forgive

Forgiveness is amazing... but we are always to guard our hearts for the RIGHT reasons...

FAITH-actions for good-never judge

James is such an amazing book in the Bible!!! WOW!! One to ALWAYS go back to..... 10 minutes just doesn't cover it.... Blessings!!!