How Much?
Ecclesiastes 5:10  Those who love money will never have enough. How absurd to think that wealth brings true happiness!!

So what is that amazing true love to you? What do you find your focus on in need of always? Something or someone you can't live without?
With me my first amazing love goes straight to me Creator-for bringing me here to learn love, and show it. That is my other part of love-I love my husband Christian Siebens beyond understanding-just an amazing click. And my daughter will always be more than any daughter to me-she is extra special. We went thru some tide together in life with my psychotic ex, but I kept her peaceful, loving, excited for each day. She is quite on fire for Jesus, and I am so proud. My Big Bro Troy Jensen has made an endless impact on my heart-something that he never would have done before-as for he loved material things, money. That was how we grew up. But I saw how it could hurt my parents relationship then, I was not one who ever wanted it a big part of my life.
My greatest memory really is when my ex and, well became ex's due to his beating me. To clarify that-how did that benefit me? I was one to struggle, no matter how, to pay for a 1 bedroom, not the best nor best neighborhood apartment. I slept on the floor, with a lamp with no shade. That was classic. But Tory had her stuff, thanks to my parents. And we had the closest relationship thru it all. Nothing took our attention off each other-that is what I loved.
If I role play, happily married to a wealthy man, frequently gone on business trips-but brings in major dough for the kid and I-even gifts chosen...which would I choose? Believe it or not, with Jesus in our household focus-the one above. I've lived thru both-and most get drawn in, expect more, "need" more, want more, demand more... then all get hurt or defensive if it isn't reached. Humbleness is gone.
It isn't a criminal act to be well off. But you have to check yourself, before you wreck yourself--and more. I am one who wants occasional few new outfits, make-up, music, love to decorate. But overall-that happens far apart, sporadic, many are gifts to me in time. I do take the excited adventures when I feel well and go places amazing, trips etc. But I am more of a giver. Receiving is wonderful. But it feels amazing for the heart when you give.
So the battle of wealth. Do you find yourself looking at many others angry wondering why that isn't you? Or your car, your house etc? How much longer will you be made to work questions? The blessing is life is about the heart, not about something man made later in life that makes the heart thump with anxiety. The heart is God made just for you and me. It is in us-spreads throughout our whole body--our BRAIN!!!! SO we should know this!! Using our heart more for just a kiss is a big move. It is a must. Really teach it to love-everything it has, able to give, excited over family and friends, using it to reach out to others-use your heart for so much. For being you. For all you have had, have, and are today. For today is what matters-God only knows what tomorrow holds.

I bring this up because I have been around those who have struggled financially in life-went from rich to poor. And know have this bitterness, anger. None of it seems "fair" to them. Nothing in life in all comparisons would be fair. But sadly, everyone notices money issues to be most drastic more than deathly illnesses that kill young kids. That flies by many like this, with a "that is just ridiculous" an angry attitude there too... but no comfort. No heart. The heart will not change if they won the lotto-it does not by what the heart prevails in... love always. First few days would be giddy-but would fade-no Jesus, and no heart.
Money is not the answer to life. We can live thru it, that God. But isn't the answer. Jesus is-and He will lay all answers out for you as you keep walking His walk, whole heartedly-for Him, not money. God only knows what He has in store for you!

Love you all!!

In His Love,


Hang on with Faith

Hanging On Jesus
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

I have been blessed to have gone thru so much in my mid 20's, that all shook me finally enough to find the Truth. John 14:6 Jesus told him, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one can come to the Father except thru Me!" The reason I am here-and STILL am with all I went thru, and then put myself thru. He works miracles for the moment we show Him humbleness, hope, a gleam of wonder if it is really HIM. Cause the moments you show more wonders, are the moments He has been grabbing your heart more.

It took many years of first me being introduced to who He is late in life, then tragically going thru so much (many blogs on that in here..) but the amazing part is the moment you lift your eyes-open your heart to Him, and allow your faith to endure thru everything you go thru-with HIM-the whole way He already has amazing plans for you. You just have to use that faith part for it to happen. For His amazing plans to endure. And as you open your heart more and more to everything tough that happens in life, knowing just to trust Him-have faith, He will help you run thru this trial with those amazing plans ahead. But if we stay angry, or bitter, or far away from God's love and faithfulness thru everything-then we won't get to see His-HIS next step in everything yet. Not until we are ready to invite Him back in.
I went thru my pouty stage. My why God stage. My-THIS CAN'T BE stage.... but I was refocused by so many-starting with my amazing brother whom swears I was the one who recently brought Him to Jesus. That grabbed me big. As I have prayed for years. Now we are so close-we are 2 peas in a pod.
Then I just have amazing family, neurologist, docs--and two very amazing ones that held my hand tight thru this was my psychiatrist for over 7 years at Mayo Clinic-- Dr. Cynthia Stonnington. Has such a grabbing heart and attitude about how you will succeed getting thru this illness. Then knowing I moved, she knew I'd be going thru a few years of pain with what is called severe Fibromyalgia- and she already has an amazing psychiatrist set up for me to call this week in Philly to make an appointment-stay focused on wellness. I was amazed at all she has to do, at what time she had before I entered her office. Always such a heart filled with joy. In addition was my brilliant psychologist Dr.Seri Roth-Roemer. She is such an amazing doctor full of life, laughter, faith-and with the focus she guides you with, just in days you begin to feel better and be better for others. But you have to have the right focus for yourself. She knows how to learn about you to find the right focus! Amazing what the brain controls. She is full of amazing gifts-one I'd love to take after if one day I am well enough to get back to school. But all my docs keep getting me thru it. All the tests galore-trying to see what is causing the severe pain-right after I healed from my #rd brain surgery, done AWAKE! Just one more test to be done. Otherwise, the low down is I have quite the case of fibromyalgia or it was caused from my brain surgery. Actually nicking a part that deals with pain. Cutting into vessels then going into the "Hot Spots" where seizures were recorded. My neurosurgeon would have me read, tell colors, keep talking etc while telling him any odd things happening while marking areas that aren't "affecting" me yet-to take out. Looking back, I kept my focus more on eyes that were gonna go if we took the whole "Hot Spot" out, so just some was taken from that and I have lack of periphreal vision. But one thing that I didn't think twice about was pain in my body, and temperture raising, and prickles. But all that can come from the medication they gave me to try to help the pain, while awake, and when it wore off, my brain was stressing overload for the pain on the brain surgery and body. It attacks the brain and where it sends its signals, for everything. Which leads to severe pain. Signals that stop pain get triggered and the body, unharmed is in severe attacks, severe pains all over-not knowing how it is supposed to make that pain go away.The signals are drastic-it is even hard to hug I hurt so bad. So I pray with this 4th brain surgery (cutting the brain in half-corpus callosum ) and medication, some knowledge of it now-I will heal quicker than how I was making it worse with such a negative attitude, laying around in severe pain-waiting for it to go away. God has different plans.So I have to take this plan and run with it.... He his worth all steps.
Blessings to all thru Jesus!


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