Our Hope

Where do you go when you are at your ropes end?
When you are about to go into surgery?
When you've been told you have cancer-may not be operable?
When you suffer from illness day in and day out?
When your money is more than tight?
When your job is on the line?
When you don't have a job-and doesn't look like one is coming soon?
When your marriage is falling apart?
When you lose a dear loved one?
When your children are out of control?
When you've been physically or mentally abused?
Where do you go?

Well-- when I didn't know Jesus-I first turned to the only thing I learned that numbed pain-- my prescription Phenobarbital. Only reason I knew that--was when I was pregnant-- the neurologist in Alabama kept upping my dose-- over toxic level to stop seizures. Major withdrawals. So-- after my first brain surgery, in 2002, 2 months after-my now ex beat me--and I turned to that. Then after long time of trying to understand why-- I found this church-- with a purple sign (my color) and I decided that it had to be the only other way to figure out how to get out of this mess. Mess of a broken marriage, with a beautiful baby... no support... epileptic.. raising on my own... now with addictive issues for my first time ever.
That purple sign led me to finding Jesus (thank you Jesus!!)--yes, while still struggling with overdosing, money issues, emotional issues, broken marriage, having out of control seizures, losing every job I tried to take-- due to being overdosed and confused. But I thank God all of this harsh stuff happened--as for I found Jesus thru it all-- so I know where to go.
As for my medical issues didn't stop there--- they just continued-- and my daughter also diagnosed with epilepsy, crushed me. But then I saw how amazingly He used it with me--and I gave it all back to Jesus. Everything is in His time, His plan, His Will... we just have to hold on tight-knowing how much He loves us thru it all-and watch all the amazing plans HE DOES HAVE-UNFOLD. That I can say so easily---as for He has overly blessed me.
Perhaps I could simply turn and go to a private neurologist--tell them what I say I take-- go from there... go back to Phenobarbital. The medication that is amazing with no drastic side effects, and complete control of my seizures. But then I have to deal again with the consequences of will I live or die-- higher risk even... due to overdose on a bad day than 3rd brain surgery. It just became one addictive drug for me. We tried two times after... both failed. I don't want to risk another.
We all have these trials-- these mountains-- these moments of time-- where God reaches out His hand-- and He is right there for us.... waiting for us to reach back in trust. No matter what we are going thru. Nothing is ever too much for Him to handle. Too much for Him to comfort. Too much for Him to guide you thru. He is our GOD! Who is strong and mighty--- Jesus died for us--- I think we can give the trust He is more than willing to HELP US TOO!!! Or that was a waste of His life!!
So never think twice about why Jesus is there-- call upon Him!! He hears you!! I was calling big-- lost my dear friend @jasonmitchener the day after my birthday... and now a dear friend @MajorDodson just lost his precious wife Faye at the precious age of 60. We never know fully the reasons-- the plans-- until we all get to see each other in Heaven... but we do know... He has amazing reasons. And more amazing plans in store-- as we trust Him!! This I sure learned!! One amazing God!! AMEN!!
God bless you all!!! Pray you all are well--- please let me know if I can pray for you.... seems the end of this year has been tough for many. But glorious when we see His picture!!!

In His Love,

Hetty @AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures

Please visit http://www.twitter.com/worldprayr

Lamentations 3: 22-24
The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance;therefore, I will hope in Him!"

1 comment:

chellphy said...

Thank you so much for your honesty and the sharing of your heart and His love. I always struggle with how God in his infinite love can allow so much suffering ... yet you reminded me that it is through our suffering that He shows us His love. Thank you!