How- even as close followers of Christ- do we not let HIS AMAZING timing- get in the way with how we decide to handle things-our timing? How long does it take- for us- with something BIG in our life- to sit and pray- read His Word- talk to Him- meditate with Him- pray BIG with others etc.... how long? And how big-really-does it have to be to finally get you at a point of some sort of quitting term. Not necessarily quitting Jesus- but just not following tighter, another way you could... take care of it "yourself."
I bring this one up because as MOST of you out there know, they have wanted to do brain surgery #3 on me for 2 years. But back in 2008, when I was having non-stop tonic clonic seizures, once they fixed that, my husband just couldn't go thru ANOTHER brain surgery. Even though it looked like Jesus opened the DOOR BIG for us. Head of neurology for all three Mayo Hospitals was there, once again, when I was in--and was ready to tackle it. But I respect my husband dearly--and we went home. Clearly, there is always a reason for everything.... we still are searching for that one!! :) But, many amazing things happened in between in our lives- perhaps would not have, had I gone thru with it then. HE knows.
This time around, I wound up in the hospital a year ago-- hardly able to move any limb. My white blood count dropped drastically. And was very anemic. Comes with the cards with the one and only anti-seizure medication that works for me. Then it finally eats at me BIG. That was when my neurosurgeon came in-- we had to talk about another plan- there are only two meds that work--and now I can't take either.
I finally went thru major testing they needed in November- my MEG-- shows them what I have left to take out (after two surgeries) and what areas they are concerned about- what do they control. I had that blissful test in November- before Thanksgiving in Birmingham-- and came back with H1N1 for a month.... then all the holidays continued. So hearing back still hadn't happened. Mind you... it took from February to November to get that MEG test. 3rd surgery patients aren't fun cases. Too much to look at- study- semi worry about what they may take out. But honestly, with all the seizures, and increase and add ons of medications thru 2009-- now up to eight medications... I was pretty darn patient. All glory TO JESUS!!!
But after that MEG-- then Christmas, New Years... today came. I have just been so sick. Not depressed. My meds make me sleep now -- need sleep for at least 14 hours... and that still isn't enough. So at my final wits end, I text my neurologist. It was 1:00 pm- just got up... couple hours go by-- couldn't handle it. I said "I say let's put less stress on Mayo and settle with Phenobarbital (my addictive-but one drug that works well) Less time on an unrewarding case. These meds have me in misery. ~Hetty Siebens
I heard from his secretary RIGHT after that message. My neurologist helped Jesus pull me out of the mudd-- back in 2003-- addicted to that medication after my ex beat me. And when we re-tried it 2 more times-- one time I was in control... other time my husband. Neither worked. Shows the amazing care Jesus placed me in-- as for His amazing care for me. That made me feel very selfish.
1 Peter 4:19 So if you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for He will never fail you.
Well, I kept doing that and doing that... and had a blow up.... and not that I don't trust HIM... I just took it into my OWN hands. He still made amazing things happen!!! As for I re-text with apologies!!
1 Peter 5:6-7 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in His good time He will honor you. GIVE ALL YOUR WORRIES AND CARES to GOD, for HE CARES about what happens to you!
1 Peter 5:8-9 Be careful! Watch out for attacks from the Devil, your great enemy. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour. Take a FIRM stand against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going thru the same kind of suffering you are.
Even though I am weak... it shows His amazing hand in use!! Shows what I can live thru- only thru HIM!! And I give Him all the glory!
2 Corinthians 4:10 Thru suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
He is the Way, the Truth, the Life... He is why we are here-- has amazing plans-- we just have to try to kick back... even if it is a year-- to keep praying TO HIM! Either way-- He never lets us down! His love is so amazing, merciful, full of grace and endless comfort- we have to keep hanging onto that. His love never wavers! And that is amazing!!
Love you all!! I am thrilled that progress is moving forward-- have my neurologist appointment next Wednesday-- after all Mayo's from here in AZ, MN, and FL have their neurosurgeon conference about best way to enter my head- awake brain surgery, stimulation again, etc. I've been opened a total of four times- surgery twice- so plastic surgeon is already on hand to re-pad. I am thrilled and so grateful to Jesus for moving this. He is ONE AMAZING GOD! HIS GOOD TIME--- IS THE RIGHT TIME-- THE ONLY TIME!!!!
In His Love,
Hetty @AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures
Psalm 103: 2-4 Praise the LORD, I tell myself, and never forget the good things He does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He ransoms me from my death and surrounds me with love and tender mercies.