I have only ONE True God....But there are so many times that it feels like He has taken time off, can't hear my prayer, nor my tear to catch. And then, I am hurt more and withdrawal. Cause it doesn't feel like He truly cares or has any answer... even though the correct side of me knows He does care. He does hurt when I hurt. But when it feels like Jesus is on vacation as I suffer never-ending, then I'm in the step away motion. Feel like no prayer will do a thing.
But I truly do know He is there. Just what makes it hard to hang on thru all the pain- is the docs today are so afraid of any true diagnosis, as for the medication of one may be hard on my epileptic body. But none of this is fun. And this utter pain is way worse than all the seizures I've had. But finding a real doc to take on the case to juggle with diagnosis, is basically impossible.
So I pray the doc I see tomorrow gives me clarity-or a great referral. But this isn't a way to live. In temporary relief-week to week.
Please pray there is a positive answer tomorrow!! Or I will lose my mind!!
Love to all....
Heather
PS ... Christian - sorry for such disastrous night.. I love you!!
Us Always My Love from Hetty Siebens on Vimeo.
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