I'm ready...

For my thrilling tests tomorrow-that go on for 5 hours! Going to check my brain and its wonderful memory loss from all the seizures, mainly the large ones that do that to me. And it is the short term memory it effects. So when I forget to call, type, respond, check a blog-I APPOLOGIZE NOW! Just is part of all this brain fun! Sure helps teach me all of what to be thankful every day!

Seems we learn later and later-to finally begin to have those grateful thanks to our Lord and family and friends...that it is almost to a point of crippledness, when we finally wake up to our Lords love and mercy...and LOVE HIM SO MUCH BACK-no matter what is going on. I can keep crying to Him...but I know He will always take care of me...and that is an amazing fact I invest my heart, mind and soul in...and won't take that back...

I thank Him for all you and your wonderful prayers through all this. I have been inspired and alive to help others rather than dwell in a self pity party-and it feels wonderful! My prayers for others feels so much better than self mourning. It is allowed-and I have gone thru it...and I might again...but I know how to go to Him for that comfort these days...and it is the best feeling.

I praise Him for His love and blessing me with what I get to face-thru His love and grace. He will be guiding these doctors for the weeks to come and thru the brain surgery again! May Glory Be to God! :)

Bless you all...I will update you all how the neuropsych tests go-and appointment with my neurosurgeon tomorrow-time flies! Memory is down-so if past 7 pm AZ time...tomorrow-and you are wondering-drop me a tweet! :)

Blessings in His love and Grace-

Hetty Siebens


1 Jude 1:25 All glory to Him, who alone is God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Yes, Glory, Majesty, Power and Authority belong to Him, in the beginning, now and forevermore. AMEN!


Finding My Best Friend...Jesus Christ

I grew up with atypical absence seizures, the kind you get the aura...then stare out..but they never went away. I grew up taking Phenobarbital. I also grew up in a family that didn't know Jesus. I got married when I was 19-and after we got married he pressed this Jesus thing on me...and I rejected it...our marriage was always off and on...Then in my early twenties, an odd type of seizure kept trying to show up during stressful times...and I wrote it off. Mind you, it was twice as stressful, as for I still wasn't into Jesus.Then, I was blessed with my being pregnant with my daughter, Tory...in a rocky relationship-but to me was a sign that it was to stay together. Soon after, during the pregnancy my seizures got worse. And weren't getting better. My neurologist in Alabama kept increasing my dose of Phenobarbital. When I had her, the seizures didn't dissipate. And my relationship w/my husband then-was getting worse. I went back to AZ to find a neurologist who could do something for it. In time, my husband-felt he had to as well. I had my first brain surgery in 2002 at the Mayo Hospital...I wasn't into Jesus yet...it was painful...but I was seizure free. I had oddly bought a cross right before the surgery, not sure why. Then two months after my surgery, we had to move to TX where my now ex husband was stationed with the Army. Four days after getting there, first night in our apartment, he beat me. The Army pulled him out, and in time my daughter and I went back to AZ. Where I was in dire need. I was in tears..and turned to overdosing on Phenobarbital, my medicine, to numb the pain. I knew I needed something else...I somehow, unwell...found this purple sign that said Cornerstone, my church on Feb 9 2003...and since then have been there...and seeking Him that year...finding wellness...almost didn't make it once after a ridiculous OD-the elaboration on what occured still makes me cry-but also tears of joy that He LOVES ME SO MUCH...That was when I turned for good, knowing I'd never turn back. I have been on fire since. In the middle of all of it-I found the love of my life-Jesus blessed me with-Christian Siebens. So many stories-He has patience like Jesus. God bless him... he has shown me what love is-how to accept it and how to give it. Thru every aching moment of life. He is a gem, in all times thru Christ.
A lot of brain and health struggles-along with my daughter being diagnosed with epilepsy. But He has opened doors for my health since...such as a second brain surgery in 2005 that was fabulous. I have had every test you can question....and been on every drug you could have questions about...along with knowing...if you don't have faith in Him...seizures tend to climb back up. HE IS MY MEDICATION!

He has some more plans underway-3rd brain surgery is being set up. I am limited to certain meds-and some I just can't take. Just got out of the hospital-as for it looked like I had MS or cancer due to one that controls me well-so I am back to seizures until fixed. He has amazing plans-and the amazing part is-I am calm-know all HIS control-and amazed at who this all can reach. I take the weaknesses in joy-for it helps me help others find Him! AMEN!
In His Love,
Hetty Siebens
1 Corinthians 2:9 No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him!!


Mighty Love-Our Light

I truly thank Jesus every day-for the life He gave me, and the death he has saved me from, and the strength He gave me to get thru tough times-while finding Him-and falling in love with Him. During that-my seizures that were once controlled by my first surgery-were out of control from a need be medication change, and stress from my ex beating me-and all that comes with that. But with that-I learned that LOVE for HIM is the most important thing in this world-and outside of it. He created all of us-and all around. He knew us before we were born…He knew what sufferings we had ahead…but He knew, if we gained that strength thru His love He shows us-sends to us, & turned to Him-He would begin this marvelous unfolding of His plans, as we began to grow closer.
How I did-is all about Him. As I have stated before-I grew up knowing nothing. So when presented something at 19-I rejected very simply. And it followed me around it seemed everywhere. Which caught my attention-just didn’t turn me to Him. He knows what it takes, and He is ready to do it for us-if we are ready to accept it from Him-and run to Him. He keeps trying with so many of us-as He did I for so many years. He has such patience…but He can’t do the actual turning for us-that is up to us. Not to be too big headed-too popular-too scared-in doubt…you have to close your ears to the worldview and eyes to what is available in this cynical world-and begin to trust Him…walk with Him. And learn about Him. And with that-you will not want to turn around. Pray before you open your bible-asking Him to send you somewhere that will truly speak to your heart…and He does. Listen to some uplifting Christian music. Will feel so weird at first if you never have…but wow! Was it ever one thing that helped me get energized on all He HAS DONE and DOES for us! We can’t live two lives-the Christ driven…Sunday-and the weekday popular cynical life-where we think it isn’t IN church…so no big deal. He is always by your side…and He wants you to be more and more like Him…perhaps preaching to the drug dealers on the streets or helping prostitutes by handing them a bible-not hiring. Jesus was “equal” in His actions to everyone when here on Earth. He lowered Himself below so many. Many would never speak to a prostitute-He helped her learn how to trust in Him and not sin anymore!! What a GOD!
To be like that with such a heart is how I WANT TO BE…and I am trying more and more everyday! Jesus is my everything…He just blesses me more and more everyday with His love and peace-and amazing family and friends…and gosh-such an adorable child I am in awe of!
God bless you all…He is holding my hand thru everything. He wants us to grow closer in our walk-and bring others to Him. And that is such a priority in my life. Praise Him how far I have come. At 19, I thought people like me were just weirdos! I like being that way if that is true! Well worth it for His love and to be in His Kingdom!
In His Love,

Hetty Siebens (@AliveinMe)

Matthew 4:4 ’People need more than bread for their life; they must feed on every Word of God.’

Luke 11: 35-37 “Make sure that the light you think you have is not really darkness. If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight is shining on you.”

1 Peter 4:14 Be happy if you are insulted for being a Christian, for then the glorious Spirit of God will come upon you.


Amazing Sunday...

You know...I have seen Jesus do so many amazing things with others...and absolutely amazing things with me and my health and faith...but we had something just way too cool and Godly happen today-as we were worshipping Him.
Before I tell you-I will say it is a God thing. God works in peoples hearts who know when one is going thru a lot-that it is best to just show your face so you know them as flesh-as a brother or sister in Christ-face to face...never too far! And an awesome couple that live south of us, gosh about 30 miles or so-came up to our church to meet me, my church-and another friend on twitter was also part of this organizing-I didn't know he went to my church Cornerstone too!!! Too awesome...God works wonders!
So, with their hearts-they came up from Casa Grande @RDBones and his lovely wife and @azbubba !! Along with my wonderful hubby @flyingchristian and my daughter at her Bible study! Was awesome to be able to worship together and hear Pastor Jeff just rip out those words that meant so much to me-as for my parents committed adultery-and it does affected all family to come. You have to find a way to deal with it. It started out psychology...and has ended up thru Jesus! The most amazing consoler, comforter, easer, loving Father in this world. With no co pay!
God bless you all-reach out to your near-by twitter friends. I think I will be driving state to state to meet you all-as for you all amaze me in many ways! What blessings you all are!
In His Dear Love,
Hetty Siebens (AliveinMe)

Titus 2: 11-14 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and wordly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and Godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for Himself a people for His own posscession who are zealous for Good Works. ~ AMEN!