Born Again...

Who remembers the moment when they first came to Jesus?? Really accepted Him? Who remembers all the times before-that were leading them to Him, actually trying to find Him? Then the great question...who can remember (not all) the time that they had no clue about Him, and had others presenting Him to you-and were at first kinda humored...but when it continued, pretty irritated. Then over time it made your skin crawl? Gosh...I can say I experienced all this within less than 7 years. All beginning at the lovely age of 19...
Yes, I grew up knowing zero about Him. My parents were loving and caring...just wasn't in their skills of parenting-nor time with all the hard work they put into their jobs to make the amazing money they brought in...then, money was way more important than anything. I wasn't a big money freak oddly...my awesome brother was sure weaned that way. Go figure how God molds us for our futures-even when we aren't following Him.
I can remember the major moment I knew I would never turn away-that was October 20, 2003-almost saw death the night before-but He knew I had been searching for Him. Trying to understand the sermons, trying 2 be a good mom, going thru a hard divorce, all the while addicted to my own antiseizure drug phenobarbital to numb the pain of my ex beating me shortly after my first brain surgery. I didn't know how to give my worries and pain to Jesus yet. I kept trying to learn-trying to listen to more amazing music for Him that would light me up-as if I did overdose...even if I hadn't...instead of the music that would drag me down and make me look for those pills. He is the answer to every issue, pain, suffering-we ever go thru. We just have to invite Him in-He is already waiting to take those burdens and begin to help us straighten our lives to HIS PLAN!
I remember the first time I started going to church-in tears-drunk on those pills-knowing if I didn't find a way to get out of that mess-I'd never make it. Doctors were great help-but not the full answer. I started to attend regularly February 9, 2003-kept going and going-thinking every service was directed toward ME!! With the pastors eyes ON ME!! I'd even try to change seats...always came back. It was so odd, yet amazing!
I finally, a bit tipsy from too many pills one night, decided to pick someone to talk to out of the bunch. And I recommend this to everyone...not to just go in and out. The moment you start making amazing friends clenched with Christ-is when you start to get more understanding of His love. To this day I am so thankful He somehow turned that tipsy night-into a blessing for me guiding me to such an amazing friend-wasn't long after when I wound up in the hospital-close to death-and I had grown close enough-with His guidance-to call her and tell her. And she was up in a flash to see me-and had the pastor come up and pray-and that was amazing!
Where this all leads to...is I am getting this flashback. I am seeing many moments of the same steps like this, in my brother. He has had a hard time in life, mainly brought on by own selfish desires. Many so similar to mine. But he kept trying to shut out Jesus. I gave Him my words of advice-a bible yrs ago-and uplifting advice here and there. Biggest thing is, I have always loved him no matter how mean he has been, how far away and closed off, or how much he'd reject any advice. I know I have cried and prayed...but He does work wonders thru hard times. And right now I am watching some amazing moments being worked thru my brother. We prayed together the other day...and it felt so awesome that he asked me to pray for him. To hold hands and show him how I pray to our amazing God!! I got to see tears in his eyes, which isn't often. He was reading the Greg Laurie Bible I gave him, and was amazed at the captions it guided you with-things you don't know when you are beginning! He is so intelligent..so it is awesome to see him start something-a relationship-that you grow to know more about-can't just know overnight!
So, right now, this is really his first time reaching. I know it is never perfect...and there will be some downfalls. I am just really praying he continues to know Jesus is THERE-all the time...and wants to keep molding him! He would be the 2nd one (other than I) in my family to find Jesus. A lot of praying going on!
Love you all!! Jesus blessed me with such great friends...and I am so thankful!!
In His Grip,
Psalm 34:22 Let Your unfailing love surround us, LORD, for our hope is in You alone!



Was so amazing...I have been told by so many recently that I have been an inspiration...and that just took me for a loop. How could I be inspiring? It is twitter-so it couldn't be how my hair was that day...or the perfume on...or the books they can't see that I am reading. How can I be inspiring? I sat and took it in several times when I was understanding...it is just all Jesus working thru me. I wasn't so strong in my weakness before. Before I would be full of words I cannot repeat with out being disblogged. (is that a word?) Suffering over and over before had me hurt, yes, but then angry. It took more walking again...more ups and downs with my illness-and amazing guidance and talk from our Amazing God to let me know He has me on His amazing path, I just need to follow Him close-thrilled all the way-as for it is all for HIS GLORY! And that is so true! Can I hear an AMEN!?? (still don't hear it..) :)

So to all of you on twitter who amaze me...but have said such kind words saying I inspire you...just thank Jesus for talking to you...it is all Him. He works so many wonders-and me being able to know you all is an amazing wonder and gift from God! Blessings to you all...know when times see tough-they won't ever be too much that you can't handle-and will have use thru it all for His Glory! Knock on His door..continue to pray-so many doors are available-just pray for the right one for you and for Him-have Him close the rest! He is my main door-the only one I need!

Blessings to you and thanks for your friendship, inspiration, and sharing His word and music! :)

In His Grip,

Hetty Siebens

Philippians 1:29 For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in Him but also suffer for His sake