9/6/14

Dear God Hear Our Cries

My God Given Princess

What are our plans in life? How many major plans were true "plans" and not "a God blessed surprise?" The beautiful one year old above, is my baby Tory-now 13!! She was a "surprising gift!" Was not a plan when found out. My ex and I were already planning divorce. I looked at it all as a reason of good behind it all. My ex wanted abortion, as for he had been cheating again-if I kept her it would interrupt. I told him just to flee-I sign him out but I was having the baby. He decided to try it. That sure didn't go for long-all for my little one's benefit. She has a heart like and for God. He did not. The bit she ever saw him, not even knowing he had beaten me, she feared him. That is what started chaos with her health-while mine was being tackled still. She got hit with seizures as well from the stress of my ex-her biological deciding after almost 5 years since she was 1, to try to see if he could be dad a weekend out of every month he'd fly in town. My poor baby. I never wanted her to be hit with what I have suffered from my whole life. Yet - thrillingly went thru it way worse since I got pregnant with this princess. Worth every seizure on my behalf. And every brain surgery-all 3 brain resections-head open and closed 7 times. When her stress of my ex, exiting our lives-her seizures dissipated and does not take any medication any more-and hasn't in a couple years now. Praise our Lord! Her anxiety she had-disappeared as well. Amazing what was tough, but God took it by His hands and turned it all for His Glory.
It wasn't like it wasn't tough for me-I wanted to take those seizures from her. But I knew God had a reason. And we WOULD get thru it. And watch it strengthen her. One Amazing God. But it is very very tough when it is someone else's child. Maybe cause I feel I have less ability to help. But what tears me apart is when these young ones have something I finally conquered thru faith and 3 brain surgeries and many medications. Yet I wish I could take it on for them. Precious Kate McRae got hit with seizures-tore my heart because when she had to have her first brain surgery in 2009- I bawled wishing I could take that on. I was having my 3rd awake brain surgery just a few months away-God give it to me, not this baby. But I watched them conquer it. Then relapse- and conquered. This angel keeps conquering all. She is now having the seizures most likely from tumor that has grown back-cancer, again. And again- my heart just wants to take it on. But our Lord works thru this family. This girl's faith- Kate is also indestructible. The reason God wants us child-like. Their trust handles it all so much better than our "control" desires. When we have to trust, give it to Him, not control. We can't. I pray so deeply for Kate and the family. 
When people plan certain salaries and that doesn't occur, doesn't that stress many out? Many feel it is the end of the world, unfixable, and some just end life even over it from severe depression. Our Lord just has His own time, and a totally beautiful plan for all, but wants our trust, love, faith, and close walk with Him knowing He WILL CHANGE YOU, mold you- with your faith shining for His Glory!! His reasonings, His plans outweigh our thoughts and choices by so much!!! 
Many feel they can't make it thru divorce ever- God heals hearts left and right as you give your whole life to Him. No matter the addiction, despair, illness- He cares so much and has beauty planned for His Glory, Honor, Praise....trusting it---- when we must walk with FAITH not by sight of this Amazing God who created us and loves us, and has beauty plans thru all tragedies..... gotta give it all to Him. Love and Trust Him.....

Doesn't mean your heart can't hurt- be He will heal that too!

Bless you all....

In His Love,

Heather Siebens

Jeremiah 33: 2-3  “Thus says the Lord who made the earth, the Lord who formed it to establish it—the Lord is his name:  Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.

Numbers 12:13 And Moses cried to the Lord, “O God, please heal her—please.”

Psalm 41:3 The Lord sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness you restore him to full health.

Hosea 6:1 [ A Call to Repentance ] “Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces; now he will heal us. He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds.

Matthew 4:24 News about him spread as far as Syria, and people soon began bringing to him all who were sick. And whatever their sickness or disease, or if they were demon possessed or epileptic or paralyzed—he healed them all.

Luke 10:9 Heal the sick, and tell them, ‘The Kingdom of God is near you now.’

1 Corinthians 12:9 The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing.

1 Corinthians 13:7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong.

Philippians 1:25 Knowing this, I am convinced that I will remain alive so I can continue to help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith.

Joshua 1:9  This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”