6/29/19

Moment of Life







Beautiful pictures.
But also a very very sensitive subject on why I don't understand. Abortion. There is no pro-choice. Pro-Life. It's either slaughter a defenseless human being , or fight for their right to live.
I was such a non follower of Christ at the time. I had zero care how people personally felt about aborting their babies. I had a very very close friend that went thru it. Meant basically zero to me because it was never in my "plans' to ever go thru any of it myself to make a choice per se, or even be pregnant for that matter. But I did get pregnant the night my ex husband (now) and I were AGAIN trying to plan our divorce in a kind manner over wine. That wine led to beautifully more- that angel in above pics. The night it happened I KNEW I GOT PREGNANT- how.... other than God, I can't tell you... I will never know- it was amazing. my ex was not happy. He had plans of his own. When I tested about a week later that wasn't what he was looking for. "Christian belief" grown and taught husband of mine- who was leaving me again for cheating, again- wanting to wipe clean this slate that is above in this picture above. Me, I grew up in a very zero religious family- sinful family...zero "God" in our family ...Jesus was only known as a cuss word-and the night it happened God made me feel it somehow-made me know it and love the feeling. I couldn't even fathom for some reason abortion for me. Not even conversation of it or thinking it. I could feel her the moment- The second she was in me. I told that "husband" to continue divorce and I'd be ok. I was strong and healthy then- I would need zero. He/she in me would be just fine and would need/want zero from him-please continue divorce and his new found love. He began talking to his southern root family-especially his sister and lectures came to him about responsibility, etc. 
I will never get it. I had zero faith. But it's like God held Tory so tight thru me. I went from zero care on abortion to not understanding how anyone can because this little girl in me, thru the years, helped me find Jesus. Helped me combat my epilepsy -helped me find my amazing husband today who is her real true daddy today from 2 yr/ old on. My horse rider. My angel. My Jesus praiser before I was. She went thru so much I couldn't fathom thinking the beauty of that angel not being here then, or now. How my ex can just sign papers so I can have all custody- so he still, later basically aborted her to marry and move on, have 2 more kids.(crazy part he was into child pornography ending of our marriage) I just don't understand the human brain, and mine is all messed up. Cut out 3 times for seizures my whole life. But I couldn't let go of her then, believer or non believer- or later- believer or non believer. She is just an angel to me- no matter what. She is so many reasons He brought me to earth-I am so grateful for.

So- I love all people who go thru all-different paths. I get it. Been thru different sides-I just get God and His beauty and reasons behind of bringing gifts to us-without my angel I'm not sure who I'd be. I feel like I'd be so empty and soulless. She has brought so much good to my life that defeated my bad and to God, I am so grateful. To her, I am so thankful. My angel Tory. My dear husband today Christian - thank you for striving and taking over.... thanking for being real. My ex... I am happy you have a new wife and children today- but it is sad what you would have killed when you look at that beauty above in that picture. That I cannot fathom.


Psalm 139: 13-16
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.

My Angel below and my husband that raised her, her daddy. Thank you Christian-we love you Tory. Our little family.