Heart Brakes

God has blessed us with so much--that we have no way to return, other than to praise Him. Show Him HE is our #1! But losing close friends along the way hurts-and all the chaos in this world of drastic stunts people can pull--they can be sitting next to, blood related, someone you raised, one you married--just so much hurt out there and truly the only with answers to heal that pain for all--is Jesus.

I pulled drastic stunts when I went thru "unfair" pain. But my neurologist sent me to psychologists/psychologists and I agreed so I could proceed in getting better. But the biggest reason for my healing was I found THE perfect church, that had the Holy Spirit wrap tight around me. Jesus walked and talked directly to ME!!! And has ever since!!! But during my search, and prior--I was paying big consequences. I wasn't on a "favorite" list---He loves us all as ONE. But we have to pick up our cross--walk with Him, for Him, about Him-all for Him. That is what life is about. Not why don't I have money, or that car, or wellness, or the girl/boy I wanted, or did he divorce me etc.... we have to count on HIM that with our faith in HIM--HE WILL SEE US THRU---He knows the route, we just have to trust Him in this "leap of faith."

It has been one thing after another of severity since I was 25. I am now 34. And I just don't think it slows down as He keeps strengthening us--getting us out there with the win of each battle to share our Good News thru His Good News.

My road took another HUGE route that has me in more pain and seizures than usual--- people play evil games, when knowingly are doing evil. My brother is my bestest friend... but I cannot explain details right now.... other than in life, he has been very confused on what he has wanted. Therefore-divorced looking for more--when in reality, it was the void in his heart. Had it all---but lacked what was most important to keep it all together and blessed---Jesus. His ex wife has recently found Him, and my heart jumps for joy!! I keep praying for my brother, when here in such tragedy- keeps asking.

With all that confusion I lost his ex wife as a daily friend, which my daughter has her name as her middle name... known her since I was in Jr High..... amazing woman today. Hurts, cause I love her so much-but this is how the Devil works with our Free Will.

He proceeded with others I had to learn to adjust with his change--I did well. But he would quickly change as I formed a relationship with another.... looking at this you can see, his heart has a huge void---and still is not filled, as for last psychotic girlfriend end of last year-beginning of this--she and her mom pressed charges - which were all equal in reality--- but he was taken away, cuffed from my home, due to a heartless, non-follower of Christ. So now I have this heart that loves so much--that is fighting not to hate them-I just don't appreciate negative surprises... the "get you backs..."

I love my brother so much, no matter what happened--- 70x7 forgiveness per Jesus... we sure don't see that here anymore. All about revenge. That is a voided heart---my brothers ex wife has a filled heart and on His track... and I am forever grateful. We all live and learn---all takes two. Same as a close friend he dated a long time---forever her heart shows Jesus' love. Look around you and see does anyone you know close need to fill that void with Jesus? It changes all so drastically.

I was beaten by my ex--total ability to get revenge --press charges. Had all legal pics taken... I did not file--he did not do time. I know Jesus will do it on His own. My ex and I panned out friends, then just afar, he remarried, gave up our child to her "dad" to Tory.

How hard is it to go a day, then 2, then a week without hating one thing? Even the traffic. We are just blessed to have life. As I sit here half blinded and in severe pain from 3rd brain surgery.... I KNOW I AM BLESSED EVEN THRU THIS. I pray for those who need to knock down, to feel good....

I love you Maria... thank you for your heart....

And your info and heart has my head straight Lisa...

But I miss him... know wrong is wrong-- and I just pray God takes a big grip on this and bring Him completely to Jesus!! That is my hope and prayer....

While setting the wrong doers straight.... when they see You light, they will see what is truly wrong.

Love to you all out in FB and twitter land... life wouldn't be the same!! Amazing how many I have met---and will again meet this Sunday!! God is good!!

Lamentations 3:31-33 For the Lord does not abandon anyone forever. Though He brings grief, He also shows compassion according to the greatness of His unfailing love. For He does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.

Proverb 10:28 The hopes of the godly result in happiness, but the expectations of the wicked are all in vain.

Reaching out Response

As I reach for Christ, He is ALWAYS THERE;
As I reach or look for past daily attention from my lover-
it is missing.

My whole life growing up-I felt the human touch of love. My family. None of us knew about our Lord and Savior-who died for our sins--to clear our plate of destruction, lies, etc.....
It took near death for me to wake up in my running to find Him. Nevertheless -HE KEPT ME FOR A PURPOSE---as He has each and all off of YOU! Remain tight to Him-all things do have a reason...
They are just so hard to begin to understand. So much tragedy in the 90's after I was presented this Man named "Jesus" occurred. But I knew they was a "Someone" or "Something" out there--for me to have made it thru the late 90's.
When He notices your wanders even more--even more miracles happen. Many bitter ones will look at it as cruelty-if there is any "God." The other section knows deep in their hearts He is just really trying to get all His "sheep" going the right direction--HIS direction. So when tragedy, pain, saddness appear--all you have to do is call on Him--He is the One to rely on. Who has your plans laid out. And with all you face that is difficult in your life, is for you to hand onto Him, trust Him-knowing He is using all for His Glory; not like the HUGE percentage others feel it is torture for any bad they have done. If you have truly accepted Christ into your heart, mind, soul-LIFE--He is always YOUR BEST FRIEND-with unconditional love! How radical is that!!! Our love can't ever compare' which is why we our supposed to live with our walk as close as possible with Him-study and read about all He has done, stil does-will continue to do!! WOW!!!
We are just selfish creations. I know He placed my hubby and I together for amazing reasons. I used to call my hubby my little Jesus He was so striving to be very gentle and loving--allowing all my faults--but loving me still.
Wasn't until our move to Philly that everything got rocky.
My health just shortly after my 3rd brain surgery took a HUGE dump. Which wasn't "perfect" timing for my husbands new career. The main office is in Philly. But he was given a choice; to stay in Phoenix where all our family is located-and all my docs for every illness I have-or freezing Philly to watch my pain worsen from natural pain that blows up my body 80 times more. The pain from the cut that controls some brain memory, looks like I'll be in utter pain- painful for even the "good" days the rest of my life. I accepted that, finally. But it has been hard without being near family, friends, my church-and my husband gone almost over half of each month. That wasn't the agreement. We moved so he would travel less than that-cause I can't make it on my own. But I truly feel like a single parent, with a wonderful uncle who lives here most of the time-praise God. But isn't the same as your husband, or Tory's daddy.
If I knew travel would be like this-- I would have stayed in Phoenix, until travel calmed-then moved where he felt best. But this has torn my health to shreds, my childs anxity has increased--feeling at the age of 9 she has to take care of herself--cause even when He is here, he is so diligent as if he was at work. She is 9!! My kiddo can't take militant aggressiveness for what he needs done; asking, telling, describing what he needs done is the best what my sweet Tory can handle it-and feel productive, not behind. 
My husbands mind is in this twirl of work, talking to the owner of our home about deals, detangling my necklaces is when those thought were in his mind-as I walked in--in a skirt he has wanted me to buy forever. I did. M past lover would have his mind off of everything and had said how beautiful I looked---seems a long time, except when His brain has time to--on Facebook.
As a sick one it does feel good once in a while to here how "beautiful I look" face to face. Not just talk about where are we going for dinner.
That isn't the only---but an example of how my heart hurts. 
Which is why I praise God I found Jesus---or there would be no one else logical to talk to about all this. I praise Jesus for close friends. to help get me thru my brain and pain complications-and husband always gone--even when he is home.
We will make it thru--if we BOTH stick to Jesus for our marriage, not just his work.


In His Grip,


Heather
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort of God.
Psalm 57:10 For Your UNfailing love is as high as the Heavens. Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.