Heart Brakes

God has blessed us with so much--that we have no way to return, other than to praise Him. Show Him HE is our #1! But losing close friends along the way hurts-and all the chaos in this world of drastic stunts people can pull--they can be sitting next to, blood related, someone you raised, one you married--just so much hurt out there and truly the only with answers to heal that pain for all--is Jesus.

I pulled drastic stunts when I went thru "unfair" pain. But my neurologist sent me to psychologists/psychologists and I agreed so I could proceed in getting better. But the biggest reason for my healing was I found THE perfect church, that had the Holy Spirit wrap tight around me. Jesus walked and talked directly to ME!!! And has ever since!!! But during my search, and prior--I was paying big consequences. I wasn't on a "favorite" list---He loves us all as ONE. But we have to pick up our cross--walk with Him, for Him, about Him-all for Him. That is what life is about. Not why don't I have money, or that car, or wellness, or the girl/boy I wanted, or did he divorce me etc.... we have to count on HIM that with our faith in HIM--HE WILL SEE US THRU---He knows the route, we just have to trust Him in this "leap of faith."

It has been one thing after another of severity since I was 25. I am now 34. And I just don't think it slows down as He keeps strengthening us--getting us out there with the win of each battle to share our Good News thru His Good News.

My road took another HUGE route that has me in more pain and seizures than usual--- people play evil games, when knowingly are doing evil. My brother is my bestest friend... but I cannot explain details right now.... other than in life, he has been very confused on what he has wanted. Therefore-divorced looking for more--when in reality, it was the void in his heart. Had it all---but lacked what was most important to keep it all together and blessed---Jesus. His ex wife has recently found Him, and my heart jumps for joy!! I keep praying for my brother, when here in such tragedy- keeps asking.

With all that confusion I lost his ex wife as a daily friend, which my daughter has her name as her middle name... known her since I was in Jr High..... amazing woman today. Hurts, cause I love her so much-but this is how the Devil works with our Free Will.

He proceeded with others I had to learn to adjust with his change--I did well. But he would quickly change as I formed a relationship with another.... looking at this you can see, his heart has a huge void---and still is not filled, as for last psychotic girlfriend end of last year-beginning of this--she and her mom pressed charges - which were all equal in reality--- but he was taken away, cuffed from my home, due to a heartless, non-follower of Christ. So now I have this heart that loves so much--that is fighting not to hate them-I just don't appreciate negative surprises... the "get you backs..."

I love my brother so much, no matter what happened--- 70x7 forgiveness per Jesus... we sure don't see that here anymore. All about revenge. That is a voided heart---my brothers ex wife has a filled heart and on His track... and I am forever grateful. We all live and learn---all takes two. Same as a close friend he dated a long time---forever her heart shows Jesus' love. Look around you and see does anyone you know close need to fill that void with Jesus? It changes all so drastically.

I was beaten by my ex--total ability to get revenge --press charges. Had all legal pics taken... I did not file--he did not do time. I know Jesus will do it on His own. My ex and I panned out friends, then just afar, he remarried, gave up our child to her "dad" to Tory.

How hard is it to go a day, then 2, then a week without hating one thing? Even the traffic. We are just blessed to have life. As I sit here half blinded and in severe pain from 3rd brain surgery.... I KNOW I AM BLESSED EVEN THRU THIS. I pray for those who need to knock down, to feel good....

I love you Maria... thank you for your heart....

And your info and heart has my head straight Lisa...

But I miss him... know wrong is wrong-- and I just pray God takes a big grip on this and bring Him completely to Jesus!! That is my hope and prayer....

While setting the wrong doers straight.... when they see You light, they will see what is truly wrong.

Love to you all out in FB and twitter land... life wouldn't be the same!! Amazing how many I have met---and will again meet this Sunday!! God is good!!

Lamentations 3:31-33 For the Lord does not abandon anyone forever. Though He brings grief, He also shows compassion according to the greatness of His unfailing love. For He does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.

Proverb 10:28 The hopes of the godly result in happiness, but the expectations of the wicked are all in vain.