3/8/11

Reaching out Response

As I reach for Christ, He is ALWAYS THERE;
As I reach or look for past daily attention from my lover-
it is missing.
Add to GoogleMy whole life growing up-I felt the human touch of love. My family. None of us knew about our Lord and Savior-who died for our sins--to clear our plate of destruction, lies, etc.....
It took near death for me to wake up in my running to find Him. Nevertheless -HE KEPT ME FOR A PURPOSE---as He has each and all off of YOU! Remain tight to Him-all things do have a reason...
They are just so hard to begin to understand. So much tragedy in the 90's after I was presented this Man named "Jesus" occurred. But I knew they was a "Someone" or "Something" out there--for me to have made it thru the late 90's.
When He notices your wanders even more--even more miracles happen. Many bitter ones will look at it as cruelty-if there is any "God." The other section knows deep in their hearts He is just really trying to get all His "sheep" going the right direction--HIS direction. So when tragedy, pain, saddness appear--all you have to do is call on Him--He is the One to rely on. Who has your plans laid out. And with all you face that is difficult in your life, is for you to hand onto Him, trust Him-knowing He is using all for His Glory; not like the HUGE percentage others feel it is torture for any bad they have done. If you have truly accepted Christ into your heart, mind, soul-LIFE--He is always YOUR BEST FRIEND-with unconditional love! How radical is that!!! Our love can't ever compare' which is why we our supposed to live with our walk as close as possible with Him-study and read about all He has done, stil does-will continue to do!! WOW!!!
We are just selfish creations. I know He placed my hubby and I together for amazing reasons. I used to call my hubby my little Jesus He was so striving to be very gentle and loving--allowing all my faults--but loving me still.
Wasn't until our move to Philly that everything got rocky.
My health just shortly after my 3rd brain surgery took a HUGE dump. Which wasn't "perfect" timing for my husbands new career. The main office is in Philly. But he was given a choice; to stay in Phoenix where all our family is located-and all my docs for every illness I have-or freezing Philly to watch my pain worsen from natural pain that blows up my body 80 times more. The pain from the cut that controls some brain memory, looks like I'll be in utter pain- painful for even the "good" days the rest of my life. I accepted that, finally. But it has been hard without being near family, friends, my church-and my husband gone almost over half of each month. That wasn't the agreement. We moved so he would travel less than that-cause I can't make it on my own. But I truly feel like a single parent, with a wonderful uncle who lives here most of the time-praise God. But isn't the same as your husband, or Tory's daddy.
If I knew travel would be like this-- I would have stayed in Phoenix, until travel calmed-then moved where he felt best. But this has torn my health to shreds, my childs anxity has increased--feeling at the age of 9 she has to take care of herself--cause even when He is here, he is so diligent as if he was at work. She is 9!! My kiddo can't take militant aggressiveness for what he needs done; asking, telling, describing what he needs done is the best what my sweet Tory can handle it-and feel productive, not behind. 
My husbands mind is in this twirl of work, talking to the owner of our home about deals, detangling my necklaces is when those thought were in his mind-as I walked in--in a skirt he has wanted me to buy forever. I did. M past lover would have his mind off of everything and had said how beautiful I looked---seems a long time, except when His brain has time to--on Facebook.
As a sick one it does feel good once in a while to here how "beautiful I look" face to face. Not just talk about where are we going for dinner.
That isn't the only---but an example of how my heart hurts. 
Which is why I praise God I found Jesus---or there would be no one else logical to talk to about all this. I praise Jesus for close friends. to help get me thru my brain and pain complications-and husband always gone--even when he is home.
We will make it thru--if we BOTH stick to Jesus for our marriage, not just his work.


In His Grip,


Heather
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort of God.
Psalm 57:10 For Your UNfailing love is as high as the Heavens. Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
               

1 comment:

James said...

You will make it through, Heather. When you hit the wall (which my wife and I have hit many, many times) - there seems no way forward together in marriage - go to the Lord and just pray your heart out. The Way ahead will be given to you.
We celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary this June, Lord willing, & love each other more than ever.
God is so good to us, His children through Jesus Christ.
In Him,
Jim aka GrandFatherB (with 4 grand daughters :))