11/19/15

The Prize of Life



I want to be free of all that holds me down
Cause right now all I feel is I'm gonna drown
One brain surgery to a second then to a third
The excruciating pain all caused not all heard

Heard how it changed my life put much on hold
Every day I'd wake in pain just praying I could fold
The number of doctors seen you'd hope for just one clue
But from state to state not one doctor knew what to do

That third brain surgery was very much my choice
I was grateful that my Mayo doctors heard my little voice
But hardheaded me goes in fearless and strong
I should have understood more to not do so much wrong

I am tough Heather wanting every negative part out
Had they done this brain surgery asleep I sure would have pout
I wanted to feel the wrong areas and guide them to cut out
No matter the tough guidance I gave would little me shout

I wanted every misfiring part to be out of my life
Never did I know toughing it out would cause such strife
I wish I could say the pain all ended there
But wow since then I've had so much to bare

I feel like a vegetable, one no one likes
As my EEG's keep showing such beautiful spikes
The body pain I thought was atrocious back in 2010
Doesn't compare to the pain this town has given

We live on the bulging beach that has so many shells
But what good is that to me when daily I feel in hell
I would love to see that firing sun rise
Before it all hits hard and I don't get that prize

The prize of life
The Prize of Love
Prize to conquer strife
Prize all from up Above

I pray this torment ends one day
Maybe I can help others not to fray
But as this keeps churning I feel hopeless
So I pray that it heals and this is not endless

You all mean so much to me
You all bring me so much glee
I am one quiet source I say
I sure hope to change that one day

Bless you all for your love and care
Without it not a part of me would ever dare
Dare to seek wellness to thank all of you
To be well and grateful for all that you do!

Blessings to all....

Heather/Hetty Siebens November 2015

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