10/24/13

Will Life Change



I have to look up on my old Windows when I wrote this poem- guessing 3/04 .... following my huge overdose-yet Christian Siebens still loved me, wanted me, wanted to make me well... and we moved on... more illnesses unwanted, 2 more brain surgeries-one done awake and that caused 3 years of severe pain of the body.... but he walked with me thru it all, along with my baby girl from the get-go... I am so blessed. Don't ever quit. Don't think what you have is incurable or not able to live life with until healed either here or in Heaven. Thru Christ, and family and friends love-life is beautiful.... we are blessed!! 

Will Life Change?

All I can say is, life has been frustrating. You see it and ask God... "why was I born?" You go from this you go to that. All so negative, all so wrong. You run into good just to be hit with bad. It continues for time. Time, time that feels like it will run on and on like a clock that WON'T die. You then look at yourself, in disgrace and remorse and ask "Won't it get better, won't my life change?" You then think it won't. You look down at your feet and you cry like a child, a child that got beat. You THEN contemplate how to DO IT and if you are "STRONG" enough. Strong enough to carry out the "task." The "task" to leave all others and the trials you did not defeat. You don't talk to others about your issues in life. You just judge them yourself and live in "denial." You let the problems get worse, you plan to QUIT life in a while. Now people keep asking what is the matter with me..? Why are they caring now, just let me be!! For I am unworthy for anyone's love, for anyone's trust. I haven't made life change, and a complete change in me is a MUST.
Then this wonderful man had entered my life. He had entered it happily though my life caused so much strife. He stuck with me thru all of my pain. All of my issues that you would think that I was insane! No, this man was so caring, this man was my rock. He caused me to get BETTER, caused OTHERS to TALK!! About how I got better, about how I could smile! They were quite shocked! They had not seen that in a while! I am so worthy thru Christ to be happy in life-for now I know how to be--blessed to be Christian's wife!!! (HAPPY!!)


I have to look up on my old Windows when I wrote this poem- guessing 3/04 .... following my huge overdose-yet Christian Siebens still loved me, wanted me, wanted to make me well... and we moved on... more illnesses unwanted, 2 more brain surgeries-one done awake and that caused 3 years of severe pain of the body.... but he walked with me thru it all, along with my baby girl from the get-go... I am so blessed. Don't ever quit. Don't think what you have is incurable or able to live life with. Thru Christ, and family and friends love-life is beautiful.... we are blessed!! 

In His Love,

Heather Siebens




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