This man was my rock...

All I can say is, life had been frustrating. You see it and ask God...why was I born? You go from this you go to that. All so negative, all so wrong. You run into good just to be hit with bad. It continues for time. Time, time that feels like it will run on and on like a clock that won't die. You then look at yourself, in disgrace in remorse and ask "Won't it get better, won't my life change?" You then think it won't, you look down at your feet, you cry like a child, a child that got beat. You then contemplate how to do it and if you are strong enough. Strong enough to carry out the task. The task to leave all others and the trials you did not defeat. You don't talk to others about your issues on life. You just judge them yourself and live in denial. You let the problems get worse, you plan to quit life in a while. Now people keep asking what is the matter with me. Why are they caring now, just let me be. For I am unworthy for anyone's love, for anyone's trust. I haven't made life change. And a complete change in me is a must. Then this wonderful man had entered my life. He had entered it happily though my life caused so much strife. He stuck with me through all of my pain. All of my issues that you would think I was insane. No, this man was caring, this man was my rock. Caused me to get better, caused others to talk. About how I got better, about how I could smile. They were quite shocked, they hadn't seen that in a while. I am so worthy to be happy in life, for now I know how to...to be Christians wife. (HAPPY!)

I wrote this to my dear hubby today...boyfriend back then...on 6/19/04 Vented a bit about what I had gone thru---after ex beat me, overdosing, until coma...almost death hits...but Christ had plans! And we are such an amazing....happily married couple today...PRAISE JESUS!

Love you,


Jeremiah 17:15 Heal me,O LORD,and I shall be healed;save me,and I shall be saved,for You are my praise.