Hope in an Angel

Angel Somewhere

It doesn't feel like you could paste a fake smile on my face

With all I've conquered you'd think I'd have one to embrace

But once again things turn around

And instead it feels I'm tumbling down

My shattered feelings can look 'no one in the face no more

As for I'm out of touch in life; what is this craziness for?

Down deep the roaring Lions have fiercely cut right out of me

The perturbed parts of my brain which wouldn't let me be 

Am I ever gonna make it out?

When can I make sense and show it?

When can I feel the true me will fit?

When can I get thru the wrong to see the right?

Can you see me barely living morning to night?

Where am I at, on this tough, winding road?

I see so much bright & beautiful beyond my overload

Is that baby blue sky falling ? Or the troubled earth just rising?

I keep rubbing my eyes to see if this is real or just haunting?

I think all see this tragedy isn't my place in life to be

Living thru answered prayers that turned into catastrophe

As if good is really evil and evil is Devine

Then why did I have a heart to set on His Line?

Time keeps loudly screaming, I keep silently staring

Deep in my soul there's something I just shouldn't be bearing

Cause I shouldn't have to be lost long in order just to find

A piece of me so grey and silent with very little in my mind

When can I make sense and show it?

When can I feel the true me will fit?

When can I get thru the wrong to see the right?

Can you see me barely living morning to night?

I don't know how long this fragile moment will take

Feels like my heart is damaged putting all my love at stake

Go back to and be that angel many saw in you

'Heather the angel' , girl, you have a lot to do

But today is a grey day that won't lead me to thrive

Yes I hear a faint tick in my heart and know that I'm alive

But today isn't the day I change, probably not tomorrow

All around me seems so deep and far, not dark in my sorrow

Sooner or later as I walk on this thin rope

I'll turn to ask myself if I have any ounce of hope

If I have hope, maybe this monkey will be set free 

To come down from that rope, far down to find the true me

I'll hang on as this desert sun goes down

I'll think of Pennsylvania never coming back 'round

Everything I saw will always be in my head

Nothing's changed much, my brain is frozen instead

Hetty Siebens 2012