I guess there are times that I had felt that in the year 2000--on... but it has been a while. Twas a great song, but I would've gone to NASA if that was my true choice. Overall, I was not a "space" girl. Instead Jesus brought me to Him in tough times. One was divorcing my ex who beat me...he loved space. Instead I make the "woMan on the moon" by overdosing Phenobarbital to ease that pain...keep it on the "high" side. Just get an exciting feeling or right to do. (whether true by space shuttle or moon to "get High otherwise") Excitement of them are not in my deck of cards today. But the song is amazing, as well as what came thru it all in my life of it.
I would just like to hit no pain, in which will bring happiness again. So I can dance with my hubby, play in aggressive ways with my kiddo-and answer all phone calls etc..... Right now, I have zero energy, no pain relief and so much more.... and family to please. That isn't going to happen.
Overdosing was my choice before in life. But I found the extreme pain. The hurt. The loss. The slight numbness or high it would give you-then it leads to misery and at least near death.
I sit back and follow these amazing doctor rules that do nothing for pain, makes you wonder where tomorrow is.
But I can also see how all this extreme action, again on me brings Him Glory. I see someone who loves me dearly speaking of God more than I have lately-I think God cleaned him up to an amazing soul, now has him beginning to lecture pro Jesus talk like me-just boosting me now. I see this persons life changed, and for that I am grateful. Only Christ can do that-sometimes thru visual of loved ones. And that all pain is worth it.
My life revolves around Jesus, Christian, Tory and Troy-and one missing would make me snap more. So stay close. Know I need you all---not that Man on the Moon.......not me high...need me fixed and the real Jesus working on it.
So all I can see is a small reason. Otherwise if His Heaven is what we are waiting for in these extremes-there are easier ways to find them then suffer, and make others live in misery. His plans for me are thru suffering. I don't know why, but I am re-trying to grip.
He has plans-I just pray mine is still wellness on earth.
In His Love,
Revelation 22:12-13 "See I am coming soon, and my reward is with Me, to repay all according to their deeds. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End."