I would just like to hit no pain, in which will bring happiness again. So I can dance with my hubby, play in aggressive ways with my kiddo-and answer all phone calls etc..... Right now, I have zero energy, no pain relief and so much more.... and family to please. That isn't going to happen.
Overdosing was my choice before in life. But I found the extreme pain. The hurt. The loss. The slight numbness or high it would give you-then it leads to misery and at least near death.
I sit back and follow these amazing doctor rules that do nothing for pain, makes you wonder where tomorrow is.
But I can also see how all this extreme action, again on me brings Him Glory. I see someone who loves me dearly speaking of God more than I have lately-I think God cleaned him up to an amazing soul, now has him beginning to lecture pro Jesus talk like me-just boosting me now. I see this persons life changed, and for that I am grateful. Only Christ can do that-sometimes thru visual of loved ones. And that all pain is worth it.
My life revolves around Jesus, Christian, Tory and Troy-and one missing would make me snap more. So stay close. Know I need you all---not that Man on the Moon.......not me high...need me fixed and the real Jesus working on it.
So all I can see is a small reason. Otherwise if His Heaven is what we are waiting for in these extremes-there are easier ways to find them then suffer, and make others live in misery. His plans for me are thru suffering. I don't know why, but I am re-trying to grip.
He has plans-I just pray mine is still wellness on earth.
In His Love,
Heather
Revelation 22:12-13 "See I am coming soon, and my reward is with Me, to repay all according to their deeds. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End."
3 comments:
Heather,
I am wondering how long suffering can be endured. Perhaps life long, if it is his plan! But when I think of suffering, I think of the suffering that Jesus did on the cross for my and our salvation and I realise that our suffering is his suffering. He is in pain alongside us, sharing all as he has promised to share his Kingdom to come.
I equate your suffering to his and see shining through you a great light - a candle burning bright and straight, not blown this way and that by the wind. Tall and straight as if reaching for heaven.
This is visualisation I know, but your light has shone into my life and helped me a great deal. I am sure that many others share this.
Your love for Jesus for life and for all is there, concrete and tangible. Sometimes it is hard to see through all of the pain and to endure, but endure is really the only option. Just remember the reward promised at the end, when everything is made new, when we are transformed and translated to his kingdom and he reigns over us as the Great High Priest and King.
Such Glory and Praise will be given to him and shared among all who follow him and proclaim his name in love and peace.
For myself I can only see and read of your pain and ask Jesus to allow you healing and peace. Hopefully all of our prayers will be answered - when is the question.
I will continue praying for you each day and will hope to see progress.
Keep up the good fight - we need you.
Ernie from facebook
I’ve enjoyed looking over your blog. I came across it through another blog I follow. I invite you to look over my blog and perhaps become a follower of it if you wish.
I don't see a follow wedgit on your blog or I'd gladly follow.
I really enjoyed reading the posts on your blog. I would like to invite you to come on over to my blot and check it out. God bless, Lloyd
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